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My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. He has inattentive ADHD and has a history of verbally abusive relationships. I myself have OCD and have a history of physically abusive relationships. This makes things very difficult since I am not currently on any form of anxiolytics and he is on Ritalin which also, as you all may know, has a side-effect of anxiety. Go figure. This makes communication very hard because when he gets confused or flustered or is trying to refocus himself, he becomes angry.

Anyone have any insight on this?  Has anyone done this and how did it pan out?

Note to self:  make the 'to do list' the night BEFORE the day comes.

I say this as a start to a routine sched.  I'm finding it exremeley hard to know what and where I should 'start' my very busy (or at least it should be) day.  I just keep looking around and coming back to the screen.  

Focus and Breathe. ... Calm and Steady.  Relax and Go.

I am at my wits end.  My ADHD husband spends so much  time on youth hockey for our kids that is has impacted the ability for our family to function in a productive manner.   This has been going on for  almost 25 years.  First, we cannot afford it as he has been in and out if work since we married 20 yeArs ago.   Second, he refuses to pull our kids out of hockey even though it has push us deeper into debt.

Still trying to understand my now ex's  'ways' so I hope you don't mind another question.

It always seemed to me that my ex never had an original thought of his own, he always seemed to be heavily influenced by others, or whatever bandwagon was passing at the time he could jump aboard onto.

Everything from small trivial everyday stuff right up to big stuff like wanting to emigrate because a work mate moved.

Hey all.  Check this out.  I found it interesting and made sense to me and my previous decisions and actions as an adolescent and adult!!  (ps.  I was in the National Guard and deployed for a yr in 09.) and (there was a major devistating lost of our son last year) and (I just took that massive 'head' test and my doc was extremely shocked how low...wayyy lower than average my PTSD level was.)  With all the mentioned and ugly childhood.

It'll make sense once you read it.  I hope it might give some insight into your lives..

Thank g that I have cats, for now:  or I don't know if I would or could have gotten outta bed right now.  Now the battle of actually..packing and finishing a lot!!  I'm beginning to feel spaced...zoning out on the near by Fetzima pamplet...feeling that void that comes right before I retreat.  ...Ahhh Shit...I have it..the felling of light yet weighted null of existance.

Any suggestions/verbage that I can use now that I'm going to eventually have to tell "them".?

I'm interested in hearing from anyone but especially people with teenagers or older children on how/if an ADHD father's low frustration tolerance and angry outbursts have affected their children. I have two young ADHD children and wonder if seeing their father's reactions will affect them in the long run. I think the children need patience and calm voices which my husband with untreated ADHD has trouble providing sometimes. Husband's sudden outbursts can be about anything from other drivers, long lines, people/cars moving slowly, spilled water/food, etc.

Here is a difference between an ADDer who is trying and and ADDer who is not trying:

"There’s a difference between someone who treats you like a priority and someone who treats you as an option."

Someone who cares about you communicates honestly and sincerely even though he makes mistakes.  We all need to come clean about our mistakes.