Recent forum posts (all topics)

When a animal is not loved and cared for, but rather  ignored and left alone, it does not thrive. It may become ill and it may die from inattention and disconnection.   When a person is ignored and taken for granted she can derive some comfort from memories of her youth where love and attention were given to her and she was seen and heard and acknowledged.  But after years of inattention and lack of care and feeling invisible and unappreciated, a person's heart and soul and even physical body are laid to waste and wane just like an unattended puppy.

I have an example of something that happened between my ADHD husband and myself, so I'll tell that story and then ask a question. The last counselor my husband and I went to, told each of us to name 10 things that we LIKE about each other, and explain them. She was trying to help us each see the "good" in each other instead of seeing negative things. So, when we got home, I told my husband the 10 things I really liked about him, and told him why those things were special to me.

Our house is for sale.   I am cleaning, fixing, organizing all around the house inside and out.  And getting things ready for company for the 4th of July.  He said he is going to plant potatoes today.  Our garage and sheds are messy and dirty with mounds of stuff that needs to be thrown out and cleaned out.  He is in the woods pulling out an area of grasses and weeds slowly as though he has nothing else better to do in the world, like he is appreciating each and every plant - making piles and piles of weeds.  He said he is making a place to PLANT A POTATO PATCH!!!!!

Hi, my real name is Tony. I've been diagnosed with ADHD, which was quite a shock because i thought i was at best A'D'D only. It's not easy. Right now i'm also awaiting a diagnosis for possible autism, too, and that feels harder because it feels like I'll become a different person, silly as it sounds. 

Anyway, no need to reply, just introducing myself, and I'll join in with the discussions as soon as I get a minute!

Best wishes, and thanks for having me here.

I'm still in the trenches on some matters because I believe my husband and I should communicate about issues such as our grown daughters and our shared finances.  But I'm so much more independent than I used to be, and I want people to know there is hope for disentangling from a dysfunctional relationship with a spouse or partner who chooses to go untreated.  

Hello everyone,

Did anyone see this week's episode? She pretends to be all sweet and normal, and then - when she doesn't get her way and the boy refuses to do her dirty work and walks away from her abuse...Rusty's mother screams at him, "Can't you just show me some of the forgiveness that I am showing you?!" So familiar, the whole routine. I am in tears.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just a set-in stain

Another day wasted here just circling the drain

I know that I'm not crazy

I'm not claiming to be sane

I'm like a thousand shards of glass

That make up this windowpane

What if I told you there was a chemical solution

A fork in this dead-end road of disillusion 

Just to calm the storm

A little tweak

A path to resolution 

I can ADD but not subtract

I divide with lack of tact

Multiply distraction like static on the radio

I normally only comment when things are bad- to vent or commiserate with someone else suffering... However,  there was a surprisingly hopeful development yesterday, which I want to post about!

I have been at the end of my proverbial rope for months now- but certainly in the last few weeks...

We are about to have some of my husband's family as guests for a few days. I am especially uncomfortable about this because of the state of messy chaos in our home. My husband is going into one of his power clean up spurts that only ever occur when he is on the verge of being embarrassed by someone who would be a guest in our home. They will still have to sleep in our exercise room, because the bedrooms are full of his piles of stuff, and I will still be terribly embarrassed to have them here ( never mind the fact that our marriage is hanging on by the slimmest thread).