Recent forum posts (all topics)

Husband doesn't go to work for weeks at a time(unpaid)-still doesn't get fired!

I am not sure if my Husband has ADHD or what but I am SO FED UP with this constant not going to work!! He works for a union and has been at his job for almost 6 years. When he found out about FMLA during his 3rd year that's when things took a turn for the worse. He tells his doctor he's got back issues, which he does, but they certainly don't keep him from working. His doctor doesn't seem to care when he comes in asking for a note saying why he missed so many days. He is supposed to be limited to 2 days a month off.

Repeating things they intend to do

Does anyone else have to deal with this ADHD trait, and if so, how do you deal with it.  My ADHD husband will say something 50 to 100 times or more before he actually DOES the thing he's talking about. One such incident is spray killing the weeds in the front yard, which he talked about for weeks ahead of time. Finally he puts up some sticks and string around the piece of yard he is putting the weed killer on, but STILL DIDN'T put down the weed killer.

Stressed and angry at husband

Thank you in advance for reading this.  I am having a real hard time with marriage.  My husband has anxiety and takes medication for it.  I also think he has ADHD, but he argues that it doesn't exist.  Please let me know if you agree with me.  He makes NO plans at all with life with me.  The only things he mentions are things he likes to do, fishing and watching movies.  As far as planning for kids, I do All of it.  

I'm fed up with the Excuses!

My ADHD husband always has excuses as to why he can't do things.  I'm just about at the end of my rope!  He has told me to give him lists of things that need to be done around the house but when I do he rarely completes the tasks.  Yesterday I emailed him a list while i was at work.  He received the list at 10am and said he would be happy to do everything I asked and have it done before I got home.  The chores amounted to about 30 minutes of work and yet when I got home at 3pm nothing had really been done.  He did unload the dishwasher but never finished putting anything away.  He put a few

Eyes Wide Open: Diagnosis this Week

My husband received his diagnosis this week, and him and my son have taken off to visit his mother for the weekend. As I do research and read read read I'm having floods of realizations wash over me, it all makes sense. One of the things that I've felt so strongly for so long (we've been together for 10 years) is a strong sense of loneliness, and as though he never truly engages me in conversation, or is capable of empathy.

I changed all the rules = a big honking mess of a relationship

When my spouse first asked me on a date 32 years ago, I was in awe.  I could not believe he wanted to take me out.  He was tall, blue eyed, and handsome.  I was shy, awkward, and disliked myself intensely.  Our first date was to an expensive dinner theatre.  On the way, he talked about his life.  He was engaged to someone else - but not FORMALLY, as in 'no ring yet' - and he wanted to make some new friends (That was me - the new friend.)

He said - she said.  To this day he insists he never said the word engaged. 

Can we ever have a good relationship?

I have been dating someone with ADD for about 6 months. At first it was amazing, and I couldn’t imagine why anyone would have hesitations about dating someone with ADHD. My family was dismayed about how much time we seemed to be spending together and how fast the relationship seemed to be moving.

About 3 months ago he started going to school full time – in addition to his full time job, his part time job and his myriad of other hobbies. In that time, I feel like our relationship has gone from a whirlwind fairy tale to seriously stressed.

Leaving my ADHD Husband

I have recently made the decision to leave my ADHD Husband because I'm so overwhelmed and exhausted after nearly 4 years together (2 1/2 married). From the very beginning I never felt like we had a true partnership or a courtship. We rushed into moving in together and we rushed into marriage which hurt our relationship a lot. My Husband was only diagnosed with ADHD about 3 months ago, but the problems caused by his symptoms have been present for our entire relationship.

His ADHD or something else?

My mom said "I'm not sure if this is the 'real' him that you never knew, or if this is a manifestation of the difficult situation he is in. Either way, it does not excuse poor behavior." 

The poor behavior is my bf under-appreciating me, making excuses for not trying to meet my needs, and being condescending to me. I am trying to figure out if this is part of his personality or a defense mechanism for the ADHD thought-process.

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