Recent forum posts (all topics)

Until recently I thought I had developed the proper skills to cope with my ADHD.  The reality is that I have not.

I am now living in my own apartment, away from my wife, and consuming any and all information I can find on ADHD, and marriage.  I picked up the book last night (an adventure in and of itself, 4 book stores later).  I have read it cover to cover once, and am on my second pass.  During this time I find that I am asking myself the same question over and over: "What right do I have to subject my non-ADHD wife to the life I have been?"  

My wife of 2 years has been diagnosed with OCD and ADHD. She is going to cognitive behavioral therapy which has helped although when she reacts to stressful situations, and finds away to make me apart of the problem. Reason goes out the window. In counseling we agreed that when I recognize that she has been "triggered" that I should say a word that we agree on and I leave for 1 hour. During this time she is supposed to fill out work sheets to help discover the root of her stress ... Hence excluding me as the problem. She will not do the work sheets.

Hey very helpful people,

 

I'm writing out of utter shame and despair. I, like us all, have a long story so I'll try my best to keep it brief. It's also hastily written.

I'm 30ish, living with ADHD(on Meds, Adderall), Learning Disability, panic disorder and PTSD from childhood sexual abuse.

Hello,

I am looking for help understanding how I can to some things better.  Recently, I have  had issues with inattentiveness, not listening, making up stories, etc.

This has been hurting the relationship between me and my wife to be.  It's got to a point where she does not believe I think she is special, she does not think I can change, and I don't consider her feelings.  

A lot of this not the day to day stuff but more of when we are not together. It's not being able to live in the "now" thinking in the moment.

Two years and three months post diagnosis and I have been reading, learning, posting, taking my meds without fail and being patient with my expectations about recovery and closeness to my DW. My situation is different from many hear on this site and the same. Repairing lost trust, remembering important dates, attention to my DW when she has had a bad day. I'm in a good mood most of the time. I'm proactive with projects and keep my deadlines. I read people better, I control my under-whelming and and over-whelming social personalities.

How do you know when it's time to wave goodbye?

How do you know when it's time to say, I will no longer pick up the emotional, financial, and relational pieces?

23 years of this is so stressful, his unemployment over the last 8 years is the most frustrating thing I have ever lived with. Thank God the good Lord has blessed me with a way to provide, but the difficulty of having to be  provider, mom, homework helper, encourager of the girls (now 17 and 20), mender of the sharp tongue that indiscriminately and impulsively lashes out is overwhelming.

Hello,

 I have recently finished reading the book.  I am getting married in about 44 days, however my future wife and I have some issues.  I believe the major issues are coming from my ADHD and looking for some help and suggestions what do. 

Ok go ahead and tell me "I told ya so", I deserve it for being so damn gullible and stupid!!!  Well DH never went to the doctor yesterday, told me that I married him the way he is and he will never take pills again.  I tried to reason with him (I know big mistake) and he told me he was giving up school, his internship and me, because he cant stand me anymore.  He called everyone he could but no one had the money to come and get his ass and take him to his mom's (3 hours away).  That was yesterday morning, last night when we were calmer I tried to talk to him about the fact he keeps threaten

I am part-way through reading Melissa's book The ADHD effect on marriage - it is very good and just just bought my husband and his (|Dutch) counsellor a copy each. Are there any plans for it to be translated into Dutch?

 

However on page 192 about boundaries -   she talks about "BS" monitors, it's lost me completely - anyone know what this refers to?

 

Thanks alot,

 

Anne