Recent forum posts (all topics)

Worthless, lonely, and disappointed beyond belief.

My husband and I have only been married less than a year and we are in a sad state. We had a whirlwind romance after being friends for a year and we were completely enamored with eachother. I know we have what it takes to be the couple married for fifty years embarrassing their grandkids with their PDA. Things started off badly for us though. He was all the things described in the books: caring, spontaneous, funny, loyal. But we soon found ourselves in big trouble. He developed a premature ejaculation problem, and would apologize but immediately fall asleep.

How to get myself and our son out of the "firing range"

It's my 1st time posting here and I guess this is as much of a vent as anything.....but any tips on how to keep myself and our 3 year old son out of the way of my husbands anger would be very helpful. My husband has ADD. He takes all his stress and frustration out on us every day. I think about ending this marriage every day when the three of us are together and the stress is killing me. I can't wait for my husband to leave for work so that we can have some peace in the few minutes before I bring my son to daycare and I go to work.

Small steps forward are better than no 'positive' steps at all

I'm the non-ADD spouse who's been married for almost 7 years.  We have 2 beautiful children and in the midst of another 'crisis' I decided to explore another avenue than I had previously.  Among other things, my husband has the tendency to 'email' and/or converse with women from his past purely to get the attention that I am obviously not giving him.  This has been an issue since the 1st year of our marriage.  I've been on this 'changing what I can control' kick since February of this year.  Realizing that I can only control me.  I can not control my husbands behaviors, a

Vulnerability

My DH and I started out arguing last night, but ended up with a new understanding.  I wish we did not have to fight to get to the gold nugget, but alas, that is just the way it works sometimes.  I have been working really hard in the last week or so (well okay, with a few setbacks along the way).  But my DH has not mentioned noticing anything.  I was beginning to think that if I am working as hard as I can and he doesn't even notice, am I EVER going to make any progress (with him)?!

Calling YYZ, and all other ADHDers who are 'morning people'

I read that ADHDers are typically night owls and their brains don't 'wake up' until 10pm or so.  This has aways been the case for me and it seems like no matter what I do I cannot stick to anything that's early in the morning.  I struggle to get through all the household routines and have everything clean and put away by 11pm and have to get up at 7, so I try to get to bed by 11 or 11:30, but typically it's midnight before I can get everything done (and stop puttering around with the computer).  So the only time I can have any 'me' time for exercise or anything without my kids on top of m

Absent Husband/Father with ADD

I am new to this site but glad I found it. I am 30 years old, married for almost 6 years. We have two small children (3 and 8 months) together and he's in Grad school. We've been to counseling in the past and "worked" on some things we were having difficulties in. Because he is in grad school, in archeology, he has spent many weeks away doing research. At times when he has been away he has been so hyper-focused on his work he has not called to check in on us, or has not picked up the phone when we try to call him over 9 hour or so periods.

I read sample chapters Mellisa and have a question about "normal"

Hi - I just read the sample chapters.  I do have a question about being "normal."  I read that I as the non-add souse need to realize that there is nothing broken or not normal about their add spouse. It seems that I need to take the leap to truly understand that his way of doing life and perceiving the world is not of lesser value than my "normal" ways. I fully admit I have a hard time at this. I don't think it is normal to not keep a job or even look for one. I don't think it is normal to use bank overdrafts as a valid means of money.

Parent WITH ADD

Forum: 
Hi, I am new to this forum. I was in tears last night as I read all of these posts. I am so exhausted by my husband's ADD. We have been together 15 years and have 2 young boys ages 3 and 6. hubby was Dx with ADD in November. I am a Social Worker who is working in a different field right now but I have been a family psychotherapist. Funny how you can sometimes more easily help as an outsider what you can't change as an insider! Anyhow...I want to get some ideas about how ADD affects parenting. It is affecting our relationship...which I know the children feel.

Pre-medicated ADHD and Coping With It

My husband was just diagnosed with ADHD, although he's obviously had it his whole life. They didn't get him any RX yet, though, because he needed some blood work and an EKG. It's been a long haul to get him to even go and get evaluated, and I've been hanging on with the hope that once he gets on a treatment plan, things will start to turn around and get better. We've been married 7 years, have two young kids, and while he has slipped into disarray more and more, it wasn't until the fall that things started to get really bad.

Husband diagnosed as a teen but nothing now....

My husband and I have been together 5 years.  He was diagnosed with ADD at 15.  He was on Concerta for a time and said that the doctor adjusted the dosage a couple times, my husband admits that the medication "helped a little" but chronic insomnia led my husband to just stop taking the medication.  His family lived in Singapore at the time.  His father is Asian Indian and his mother is Ukrainian, so their views of medication, therapy and medical practices are different than Americans.  They never got him therapy or anything else.  Just medication and when my husband stopped, they didn't p

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