Hello to all in the forums, thank you so much for being active in them. I have learned so very much from you all already just by reading your experiences!
It was not until my husband sought therapy for what we thought was depression, that he was officially diagnosed at 38 with ADHD. He was unhappy in the marriage due to lack of intimacy and he filed for divorce. It has almost been a year and I have delayed the court proceedings as long as I possibly can. But I am running out of time. I had no idea how much the ADHD had affected our relationship.
As I read through the many posts and comments on this site, it strikes me that many do not seem to have read Melissa Orlov's book yet ("The ADHD Effect on Marraige"). PLEASE READ IT TODAY! It is relatively short and very easy to read quickly.
My wife and I have been married for 12 years now. I'm 46, she's 40. When I was younger, I had quite the wild side sexually. At a certain point before we got married, I came into a faith/religious relationship that helped tone me down, and my wife had no experience sexually.
I kept thinking that nons is such a strange label. I was on a different forum and was reading a post called you know you're ADHD when and the poster referred to " neurotypicals. I had been wondering what NT meant.
My life is very much about my husband and not about me. I hate it, but, with no job, I can't see a way out.
He has to have everything in our life that's good. He lost his cell, he took mine. When I got home, I got a call from the bank that he'd left it there, which means he can't get it until Monday. (Thankfully, we haven't dropped our lineline like so many people do. You can't lose that.)
Hi Melissa, This is my first attempt on this forum. My boy friend has ADHD and I learned a lot from your book; it has become my lifeline to save our relationship! Thank you so much for all the effort you have been making for others; it's incredible; I realize that it is very important to feel hopeful about the success of relationship while you are making effort to work on the issue of "ADHD effect". However, I am struggling with it and I can't find a way to feel more positive! Can you suggest some ideas?
This sounds like an "Anger and frustration" post, but bear with me, there is some good news in here somewhere.
Something my ADHD boyfriend was very sensitive about was people saying he wasn't listening; he'd heard it all his life. What I noticed was that days after we'd had a conversation I was sure he wasn't listening to he'd quote something back. He was listening. He just wasn't giving me reason to believe he was. One day when he was irate about someone yet again saying he wasn't listening I asked him what he did to let them know he was listening. He tilted his head like "huh" and I told him people need feedback to know you're listening. Because he is so busy in his own head during convers
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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