Flirting
I have been with a wonderful man for a tumultuous three years and am just now fully digesting the depth of ADD's affect on our interaction. We are dating long distance but, because we both work shift, end up spending more time together than the average couple. He has a huge sense of play and I love it. Relationship wise the ADD has made it quite a roller coaster ride as I strive to understand. He, on the other had refuses to believe he's ADD and will not go for testing. He is also dyslexic (formally diagnosed as a child) and can't stomach the idea of another "criticism" of who he is
Where we're at now...
So, we've come to the point in our therapy sessions where it's all out on the table now!
I am Codependent.
He has ADHD.
I was told to stop controlling him, telling him how he should treat his symptoms, how he should behave towards me. Instead, I should just let him know how I feel and what I want and need (which I've done millions of times, therefore according to our therapist, need not mention anymore) and leave it up to him to make the changes and get the help. (accept responsibility and take initiative)
HELP
I have been married to my ADD spouse for 10 years. He has been diagnosed and has been on meds for about a year, which he says helps him concentrate.
I am so tired of doing everything. I am so tired of feeling like the only adult in this relationship and being responsible for all chores, income, property maintenance etc etc etc. I am tired of asking him to do the regular things in life that have to be done but never get done i.e. renew car registration, renew insurance etc etc.
Can it work?
My husband has lost his third job in the past few years. It's "never been his fault." In retrospect, I was blind...it was his time management and organization. I just bought his story.
Medicated ADHD'er needs help saving marriage
ADHD and work ability
First time poster so forgive the vent and stupid questions.
Our marriage therapist and I think my DH has ADHD. He's semi-responsive to this diagnosis and hasn't been officially tested. The sad thing is when he was all set to go to a therapist to discuss these issues, the therapist turned out to be not right for him and essentially misguided the diagnosis, told him he didnt' want help for other issues, gave him a referral where our marriage therapist said 'OMG don't go to that person". So now he's discouraged and hasn't looked into any personal therapist.
The beginning of the end
So I have made the first step in ending my marriage to my ADD husband. NSDH has gotten more and more controlling over the past 3 weeks - he has locked down all of our liquid assets to which he now has full access to and I none, he decides what is spent and on what and when, he is still having outbursts with me and the kids and if I go out with friends I have to answer his questions: who will be there, where are you meeting at, why are you meeting those people, when will you be back, ect. like his is my parent and I have to answer to him.
Parenting Conflicts with ADHD Spouse
I have never written anything on a forum before, but I really need to vent, and wonder if anyone else on this forum has the same experience and advice about what to do...
hope
I just got the book ADHD Effect on Marriage. I am the partner of a wonderfully messed up man. If it was only ADHD. But I see how it has effected all his choices . How many times I have tried to talk to him about choices! Anyhow this is about hope. Today I start a new adventure and hope with his and my effort we can find happiness because we are still in love. Go figure I don't know how it is possible. He was diagnosed in childhood and was on med. for years till either he didn't take it anymore or his parents just gave up.






