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Ok...Two things.

Im the non-ADHD spouse - married to hubby for 10 years, diagnosed only 8 months ago.  He really is a lovely guy and I do love him, but we are in such trouble that it seems as though we may be heading for the divorce route.  Medications make symptom control better but not perfect... but the issue seems to be that I cant move on from the past hurt, anger, resentment and frustration.  As much as I want to and try, I cant forget everything his untreated ADHD put me through.

I know I'm suppose to be patient and positive, and Lord knows I've been trying, but I'm having huge issues with the emotional over reactions on the part of my ADDer.

They come in bursts and are usually very short lived (as long as I don't engage) and completely out of left field. But when they happen they leave me feeling very sad and like giving up on 'us' completely. 

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I was married to an ADD (inattentive type) man for 26 years. It wasn't too bad until we had children, very late because of his reluctance. I needed help and a real partner, and he was just one more 'kid'. We live on a farm, but he refused to do any farm work, but also couldn't hold an outside job, either. He did a little cooking, and little childcare (when he felt like it). I basically did 90% of all the work. He was depressed and miserable and made all of us miserable. I finally couldn't take him dragging us all down, so I kicked him out and divorced him.

I'm married to someone who I believe has ADHD....I only figured this out about a month ago (long story) and trying to get him to see there is a problem is so frustrating.  After several failed businesses, tons of money lost/squandered, lots of distractions and a marriage on the rocks, I just don't know what to do.  Whenever I try to raise the issue, he blows up, yells and screams and swears and then says I'm not supportive; I just don't understand him; I'm negative; that he's trying really hard and that nothing pleases me.  I can't take it anymore and I've tried everything.  It is like wa

This is a question that I am hoping the Adder's on this forum will respond to as well as the non-Add spouse with how their spouse/partner deal with this issue.

Do you find it difficult to express (speak your feelings, write a letter/text/email, ect) your feelings of love to your spouse/partner? 

Thanks

Ok.  so here I am again, very very grateful for this site btw, cause without it I would have known for sure "I" Was the CRAZY One.  Not that my soon to be ex is crazy it was just his fav way of shutting me up. 

I'm writing for the first time hoping to receive some insight. My husband has ADD, takes meds and is aware of the challenges it has posed and continues to pose in his life. I have read all the books about ADHD and he reads them when things get bad and he feels he "should".  We have been to much counseling but he doesn't follow through and do or stick with the advice and tools he is given. When i explain the pain and anguish, he says he's sorry and he'll have to try harder. I know it's not about trying harder! It's about using the right tools, changing bad habits and working on it daily.

DH and I started back with our daily meetings (his request after needing his space). We had a largely positive conversation (YAY!) We talked through some issues from the past weeks (during the time that he was in his space 3+ weeks).