Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi everyone,

just like most people in this section of the forum, I just discovered that my husband (we just got married a month ago) has ADD. We were going through a lot of issues, (we went out 4 years ago and it was too chaotic so we broke it off but decided to give it a try again, last fall.) and he always blamed all of his problems on the traumatic events of his childhood. (his mother was a disruptive alcoholic and both parents died  when he was 13 years old.)

 

I am wondering if other nonADHD spouses experience what I do in terms of having to be the one to always initiate things?

We don't get out of bed unless I say "Are you ready to get up?"

We don't eat unless I say "Are you hungry?"

We don't go out unless I say "Are you ready to go?"

We don't make plans unless I say "Do you want to get together with so and so this weekend?"

We don't go out together unless I say "Do you want to go for a walk?" or "Do you want to go to a museum tomorrow?"

My husband recently was diagnosed with ADHD at 59. He is now taking Ritalin. Through our health insurance, my husband worked with a psychiatrist who used the TOVA to decide which medication to use and to titrate the dose. We will soon be losing our health insurance and my husband will be relying on the VA, our only option due to pre-existing conditions. He has been seeing the VA psychiatrist every few months just to keep plugged in at the VA, but they do not write any prescriptions for him so far.

Hi,

I've been married 9 years and only last week, after reading an article about ADHD marriages, could see that my husband is most likely having ADD. We have had a difficult marriage, and I had twice reached the point where I was going to leave, with our little daughter in tow.

I'm new here, so if this has come up before, my apologies.

We have just self-diagnosed my husband with ADHD, after I read an article in a recent newspaper, which sent me to this site. We have no children but all the other 5 symptoms apply. He seems to have accepted this, since it's just so obvious, and to me, at least, it's a relief and offers some hope.

I have recently started on meds for my ADHD. I am 52 and have been married to my wife for 21 years. About a month before finding out that I had ADHD, my wife had enough and told me she wanted a divorce. She feels angry, lonely and like she lost all love for me. At this point we have not filed for a divorce and are still living together with our four childern. My question is how do I get my wife to come to this site to get a better understanding of what she and myself are going thru.

I'm new to this site, and as I read posts, I kept thinking, yes, yes.  From Melissa's list of ADD-impacted marriages, I would think that my husband suffers from ADD.  He has read that & some of the posts and agrees.  It's important to me to understand, as I'm coming close to separation/divorce--total exhaustion of taking on all the responsibilities for both our lives.  We are in our late 60s and I just do not have the physical energy any more.  There do seem to be some ways in which he departs from the "norm": Thankfully, he is not financially irresponsible, though his oldest son is (

 

I'm brand new to the forum.  I'm 35, married for 4 years, one child.

It was actually my husband who found this resource through the New York Times wellness blog. I am the partner with ADHD. I'm glad the topic "Women with ADHD" is here, because it seems that most of the other posts are about husbands with ADHD, and let's face it, in this society husbands already do less than their fair share, so those poor wives are getting a double whammy and are understandably frustrated. (The level of their hate and vitriol is still a little shocking to me, however.)

I am the add person, the other half of the angry posts. I took advice given to me and I read from the site and I am angry. I'll try to keep it short. I have a side to my story too, even with undiagnosed add. Without the diagnosis, my words had at least some value. Post diagnosis, everything has been rewired--I am officially a selfish inconsiderate add person trying to fix himself. Insert here the list of all the things add people can't do. Presto. She Is justified.