Recent forum posts (all topics)

My ex-ADHDer and I have friends that are a couple. He is one of the husbands best friends and I am the wife's best friend. Husband and wife moved on Saturday hence, got to see the Ex.

I said to my wife (ADD) the other day, after a particularly horrific fight (at least it was horrific from my perspective) - "I just can't take it anymore.  We can't keep fighting like this."  She replied that all couples fight, that fighting is normal.  I said disagreements are certainly normal, and maybe fighting sometimes is normal, but I didn't think that fights like we have been having, where one or both partners are yelling, cursing, slamming doors, etc.

My wife (ADD) and I (non-ADD) had a really big fight this weekend, and I need some more advice.  In case you haven’t seen my past postings – my wife and I have both been working very hard to express love to the other – me by criticizing less and using words of affirmation and physical touch more, and my wife by giving me more attention without distraction.  And we had just had a pretty good week.  But then:

I debated where to put this post but ultimately decided that it sort of stands on its own.  We are about 2.5 years into our ADD (Inattentive) diagnosis and approaching 1 year of real work on it (1 year was spent with him grieving/denying while I educated myself, 6 months really getting a handle on tools & waiting on appts and SLOOOW progress to manifest, and now I think we basically know what to do but it is difficult to do except under *ideal* circumstances).  When we are both on top of our game, we meet together regular and iron our the schedules, we each stay on top of what we need t

We've suspected ADD since October, he was diagnosed (with ADD + depression) in December, started anti-depressants in March and tried an ADD med for a few days this month (made things worse )... We tried marriage counseling but were told that it didn't make a lot of sense until he had worked through some of his "stuff" first. So we're each going in individually.

I am 24 years old and have been with the one I love for almost 2 years now.  He was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder that put me in a wheelchair as a child.  When he and I met things moved fast between us since we were like 2 peas in a pod.  We befriended each other quickly and within a month were dating and living together.  The first 6 months were fantastic!!

Lately I have been trying to compliment and thank my wife more often (and nag and complain less).  Both to help me focus on what I love about her and to help her know what I appreciate about her so she might feel more loved and less criticized.  I have been doing this for a couple of days now and we seem to be in a much more caring place.  My compliments and gratitude are always genuine.

Has anyone else experienced their ADD spouse having occassional sudden flare-ups of temper?  My husband is doing it again.  He calls me horrible names, tells me he hates me, etc.  I can't spend the rest of my life like this.  Then he comes out of it just as suddenly as he started.  He cries, apologizes, says he doesn't know what happens to him.  When it gets really bad he makes impulsive, sweeping decisions that often throw our life completely off coarse.

Hello everyone:

I definitely criticize and nag my ADD wife way too often.  It is something I have been working on, but I am not always successful.  In fact, I am NOT successful way too often.

Here's what I have been doing:

When my wife does something (or doesn't do something) that annoys me, and I recognize that it annoys me, I tell myself not to take it personally, because she didn't MEAN to annoy me.  And I KNOW that is true.  Sometimes that works, and sometimes I still feel annoyed.