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I've  with my bf over 2 years and he has A.D.D, not ADHD because they are different he tells me. I am the sole cause of all of his problems. I walk around on egg shells all the time because if i say anything with attitude or pulling my face, thats it im broken and defective because i dont understand his issues, my brother has ADHD so I've experienced it before. I have a bad attutude, i dont listen, i belittle him, i ignore him, I've forced him to think of suicide.

I am 30 with a one year old, my husband has adhd recently on meds and diagnosed. I am struggling, I am now back to work, I have a young baby and I don't see any progress. My husband thinks the pills are his way of changing and making an effort when there are so many other things that need to be addressed for our marriage to succeed. He makes impulsive decisions, I am always the responsible one picking up the pieces and I'm burning out especially when I want to focus on caring for my baby not my husband. He thinks I'm a raging bitch and always pointing how his flaws.

Hi,

It appears that most blogs etc including many books around ADHD rarely include the more complex situations where both partners suffer from ADHD or the non ADHD party another condition such as PTSD or Complex PTSD.

I've been trying to wrestle this beast that is my marriage, my relationship.  When I found out about adhd, I felt relief.  I had read all kinds of marriage books but none of them hit home.  And then I found books about adhd by multiple authors who all somehow knew the weird land I lived in, who could describe the things that left me holding all the responsibilities.

But there was still more, and I could feel it.  His way of being wasn't entirely adhd.

A couple of days ago my internet was shut off.  It is at least the 3rd time this year and the second time since July when I dipped into my retirement to pay off the $12,000 in credit card bills that my husband had run up in 6 months.   Now, the reason the credit card bills were so high is because when he would get paid, he wouldn't pay the bills because he was "worried he'd need the cash for an emergency."   Then when the bills were due, he would have to put them on the credit card.

My name is Dave and I have high level ADHD. I am  married to the most wonderful, beautiful, caring, sweet, empathetic woman in the world. After being married to me for over 13 years and she is STILL with me proves it. About six months ago, she was done. Done with me being defensive about everything, mean to  her, not helping in raising our two girls while she NEVER slept AND worked to pay our bills. I went and did what I thought was important, I had my ENTIRE priority list upside down, and I really had no clue what I was doing.

My name is Dave and I have high level ADHD. I am  married to the most wonderful, beautiful, caring, sweet, empathetic woman in the world. After being married to me for over 13 years and she is STILL with me proves it. About six months ago, she was done. Done with me being defensive about everything, mean to  her, not helping in raising our two girls while she NEVER slept AND worked to pay our bills. I went and did what I thought was important, I had my ENTIRE priority list upside down, and I really had no clue what I was doing.

I'm 34 and my partner of 3 years and I have decided to separate. She is 31 and has recently been diagnosed with combined ADHD. 99% of the time,I have never met a more lovely, kind, caring, beautiful girl in my life. It's the 1% that was the end. Pre diagnosis was a rollercoaster of arguments, power plays, impulsivity, depression, drug taking on nights out, Hyperfocus/ me being ignored, crying/breakdowns, her mind racing, anxiety and generally living her life at 1000 mph.

I wanted to reach out here because I feel like there may be people in the same boat as me that could help. 

Let me start by expressing my thanks for this forum. My wife of 20 years was recently diagnosed but I have had my suspicions forever. It wasn't until she recently had Covid that the ugliest side of ADHD reared it's ugly head. 
She had a very bad experience with Covid and lost most of her senses for quit some time. Almost as soon as she recovered, she went into a hyper bucket list phase. I tried to be patient and understanding but when she had an affair that drew the line.