Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have been struggling with my marriage to my ADHD husband for many years. He is not very communicative, but sometimes we are able to talk about our problems, and sometimes he asks if I still love him. I often say, "of course I do. If I didn't, would I put up with all of this?" But recently I have wondered what I mean by that. Do I really love him? Do I love myself? Why do I put up with the anger, the chaos, the lack of communication, the wild imbalance in our work and family lives, the financial and other problems he causes for us? What do I mean when I tell him I love him?

Hey All....I'm back for a brief update ( now I'm on the hook? LOL )  Okay, this is as much for me as anyone else so I don't forget?  As I am calling a "Wall", it is the invisible frustrating thing that you can't put your finger on, but you know it's there.  I'm going to go off of an assumption, that you Non-ADHD partners, probably now this too, but only from experiencing it coming from the outside and hitting against it but not actually having it yourself?  Possibly, it is something you are aware of yourself ( in yourself ) but possibly not to the same degree?

I see a lot of helpful information here on working with an ADHD spouse, but both of our children also have ADHD, and their behaviors, inherited from my spouse, are a trigger for my spouse. Dealing with managing and supporting all three is killing me. I have an easier time when I am just dealing with the kids and their needed structures and it is overwhelming to have to layer in supporting my spouse as well. Advice, suggestions?

Well, another Sunday, another morning cussing and screaming at me over something stupid. 

My husband with ADHD. GETS VERY angry and upset if i dont obey him when he is busy. Tekls ne to shut up. Then tslks constantly. Gets mad if i answere. Tells me not to talk and turn down the tv. I get yelled at and put down. I cry. He badgers me. Why are you crying!! Whats wrong with you. Until i go so crazy i blurt out horrible things. He laughs an says what is your problem!!! Arrrrg

As you can see from the subject line, it's reached "critical mass" here. Trying to physically restrain me from getting into my vehicle to prevent me from going to church, then chasing me on foot until I actually turned the corner...the advice I'd received seemed far overdo. The advice had come from professionals and also 3 folks I've known for over 30 years. The yelling, screaming, jumping up and down is daily. There is no talking to my spouse without a rage taking place and I'm not up to it any longer.  No matter the topic, it always ends up "I've got ADHD and it's not my fault.

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Hi All, 

I asked for a divorce last November. Husband moved out at the beginning of March. It has been about a month on my own (with 4 kids) and I wanted to let you all know what is different for me. I don't know if this will help anyone, but for me, I was always afraid of the unknown that would come from divorce. Here are things I noticed:  

1) I have more money at the end of the month...more than I expected. Finances were our #1 issue. Now that we don't share an account, I actually have money in the bank at the end of the month. I'm actually surprised by how much is still there!

So unlike Elsa, I am not able to "let it go".  I have been through years of therapy--alone and together with DH--and all I feel is cheated out of 22 years of my life.  I look at photos of me with my boys when they were little and I can barely remember that person, the person that loved her sons with abandon, told her husband he was the man of her dreams and happily did whatever needed to be done without complaint.  Now...I am a bitter, angry, tired, overweight, jaded 47 year old.