Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am tired of dealing with it all.  The emotional infidelity, the messiness, the financial mess.  All of it.  And because of our financial situation, I am stuck.  I go back and forth- not even sure if I love this man.  And when I think I do love him, something happens and I get slapped in the face (emotionally).  If somehow we end up apart, there will be grief over the loss.  18 years of marriage.  The person I thought I would be with for the rest of my life, gone.  Grief for my youngest son who would be devastated if his parents were no longer together.  But then there would be relief.  No

We learned husband has diagnosed ADD 17 years in, I seem ok.  By then we were on our #4 round of counseling and I shared this elsewhere, we are now on our 5th..  I want to share tools we used to cope long before we knew of it.  I had been working part time as an organizer before we married, this was a huge help. Find help if you can't do it.  Also previous to marriage I had been his boss at full time job so I knew him in a different area of our lives.  He went on to a better job and we married a couple years later.

My therapist has just (un-officially) diagnosed my husband as having ADHD. She recognized the signs because her husband has it.

How do I tell him about this diagnosis without hurting his feelings or making him feel like we were ganging up on him in my last therapy session?

I love him, but I think he needs to know why he does what he does so we can start working on dealing with the issues.

I'm very recently married, and I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 4(now 26). I met my wife 3 years ago, and we've had a rocky relationship for a majority but we managed to keep things together, even if its with duck tape and super glue. Like I said, we've both known about my ADHD since the beginning, but I've only been back on medication(adderall) for about 5 months now. Only recently did we find this book and this website. We've had similar issues as most of the posts that I've seen on here, and looking at the books "hotspots", they summed up 80-90% of our fights.

Hi,

Any advice, thoughts, or comments, whether agreeable or harsh will be GREATLY valued. I am a big boy I can take it!

Here is a snapshot of my life

38 yr old ADHD (take adderrall) Father and Husband (2 kids 2yr,/ 4yr old)

4 yr old was born with Kidney Disease and needs a transplant (devastating, sad, I literally cant look at pictures of him without sobbing, he is my best friend n the world)

Diagnosed with ADHD in early 30's but suffered with inconsistency my whole life / school / work / relationships etc.

Anyone else here feel like friends/family have absolutely no clue what we deal with, or think we are being petty or exaggerating?  I was just talking to a friend who's husband is an alcoholic.  She is trying to get him to go to AA and to get help for depression.  We were talking and it finally dawned on her what I have been going through.  We both realized how similar our situations are.  Until this conversation, I think she thought I was just bitching and moaning about a perfectly nice husband.  I get the impression from family that they think I am really hard on my husband.  He is an incr

If you've noticed a difference with age, do you think this is a truly age only related change, period. Or a change brought about by increased life stress for example or some other change that just happens to have started in later life?

Like many non-ADHDers, I was the subject of hyperfocused dating by my ADHD partner (who I did not know at the time had ADHD). Within a month he said he loved me, wanted me to meet his family, etc.

I'm not really sure where to start here; and I'll keep it as short as I can. My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years now. He had ADHD when I met him and was largely under medicated and completely under treated. A few years ago he made the independent choice to work with his doctor to get medicated in a way that worked for him. Since then we've made great strides together. ADHD has never exactly been the focal point of arguments and tension but it does tend to be lurking in most arguments we have. I bought The Couples Guide to Thriving With ADHD a few months ago.

I don't know if "conflict seeking" is the right way to describe this  or not.

I don't even know if it's his problem, my problem, or a mutual problem.

Basically, every discussion, every disagreement, and every expression of negative emotion on my part--  it all turns into a fight.  Zero to yelling in 10 setconds flat. 

In 16 years, I haven't been able to find a way out. 

If I state my opinion, it's an argument.

If I advocate for my point of view, I'm being controlling and aggressive and it's an argument.