Recent forum posts (all topics)

Just wondering if other people have this issue.  My spouse was diagnosed with add as an adolescent and has been on stimulant medication  for many years.  However he does not take it as prescribed.  He regularly takes extra doses, sometimes to get more work done, sometimes due to feelings do depression on top of addiction to the high that comes with abusing stimulants.  To make up for this, he has to skip days. he claims to need days off from his meds in order to relax anyway   Almost every month he runs out of his meds before the refill date, sometimes 5+ days.

This has been scaring me lately and I know it is an ADHD problem, so I'm hoping someone else has dealt with this and found a way to approach their ADHD partner with it gently, but clearly.  Basically, my concern is my husband is sending the message to our children that technology is more important than them.  He eats as quickly as he can to go off to the TV, even while the rest of us are still eating.  He brings his iPad to the table if I ask him to sit through a whole meal and pretty much tunes us out.

I just found this site a few days ago and am alarmed by the number of people whose posts are nearly identical to my situation.

I have been reading these forums over the past few months, as I've been going through several meetings for "neuropsychological assessment", and they have been very enlightening. So, I am here to get some thoughts on what I consider to be a non-diagnosis.

Here is a question I have not seen addressed here, but my apologies if it has been and I missed it.  IF the non-ADHD person is in fact willing to make ALL the adjustments, have "the right mind set", be able to shoulder the majority of the responsibilities without resentment, how in the world do you treat your spouse like an equal and not in a pitying, patronizing way?  I really struggle wit this.  My DH can manage very little, even medicated, so the bulk of everything in our lives is on me.  How can I think of him as an equal when this is the case?

The unclear communication with an ADHD DH is just unbelievable.  In the past week--listen to some of the things that went on.  DH started a new job literally on Monday.  Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday he was in California for training and then back home to start working Thursday and Friday.  On Thursday he left for his job after I had already left, so I was long gone before he left.  On Thursday night I asked him what time he had to leave for work on Friday.  He tells me same time as this morning.  BUT I wasn't home when he left, so how would I know that.

Yesterday was my niece's wedding.  My spouse indeed remembered to get a haircut, and even took me up on an offer to iron his dress shirt.  

My ADHD husband and I are in the beginning stages of a divorce after  29 years.  We have a 15 year old son.  After two years of trying to get him and us to get some help he left.  The thing is, we still have a minor child.  We need to communicate and be able to work together.  It was very bitter for a while after he left.