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content removed at the request of poster
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I would love to know how many other wives of ADHD husbands have found that they have a persistent cannabis habit - that does not escalate into drug addiction, but that probably makes their ADHD symptoms worse? I was terribly naive about this as well, believing him when he promised to give up when we got married, and then when I noticed he was sitting at home smoking instead of getting a job, when the first baby was born. Of course he did not, but sort of learned to hide it from me. I also always wanted to believe his promises.
I am brand new to this site and this is my first post...sorry in advance if I ramble.
My husband and I have had problems all through our 10.5 years of marriage. There is no short list to list all but within the last year our son was diagnosed with ADHD and possibly bi-polar. Then my husband was diagnosed with ADHD but I also feel there is an undiagnosed bi-polar that is playing a part as well. My ADHD husband barely has a part time job so he keeps our son around school and he is better at finances then me so he does our finances. So in his eyes he feels as if he does everything and as he says he has to do everything for me as well bc I do nothing.
My bf told me that he feels "broken" in that he doesn't think he experiences emotions the way other people do. He said he reads about how some people experience feelings and that he doesn't have a similar experience. I asked him for an example, and he said he doesn't really cry or experience sadness. We have talked about him possibly having ADD before, but he hasn't looked into it, probably because it will make him feel bad about himself.
It is my first time posting here and it is probably too late for my marriage of nearly 20 years. My husband was just diagnosed a few months back, and has taken it incredibly hard. He won't go to couples therapy, claiming it is too expensive, yet he just spent nearly $50,000 on a remodeling project we didn't agree to do. We had been working on the ADHD marriage home course, which he only agreed to after I threatened to leave. He listened to the first couple sessions with me, but never did the homework, and then just stopped showing up to the dates we set.
My boyfriend and I are on the verge of a breakup after 7 years. He says he is miserable being away from me and will do anything to work it out.
It has been over three years now since I reached the end of a very frayed tether and stopped living with my husband. He drifted off into the irresponsible life of a teenager, fully financially supported by his family and occasionally dipping in and out of the children's lives. While I got on with the business of being the parent, making sure the children were ok, while feeling certain things within me breaking apart with the effort of 'bearing it'.
I just recently found this site and have been reading. I've only found one other poster, ChaosQueen, who has said that they were in a double AD(H)D marriage and just like her I read so much that is relevant to my situation but none that share the larger more complicated picture of being in a double ADD marriage. Is there anyone else out there...