Recent forum posts (all topics)

Sorry, everyone. I wish I could report more happiness 1,5 years after ADD divorce, but it’s still hard.

How does one rebuild social life after having lost confidence? 15+ years of ADD-associated shame and avoidance, and hundreds of attempts at connection with people who seemed slightly uncomfortable, probably smelling misery, have eroded me. There are very few invitations. How do you find common ground with others when your life has been thwarted by an ADD partner?

I am the ADHD partner. I have been with my partner for 10 years. With increasing frequency, it feels as though that I become distracted when she's speaking, or she feels I am not paying attention to her. This recently reached a head last week, where she feels that yet again I chose to not pay attention to her. She has responded with anger, as I've tried to apologize. She even said to me that she doesn't think I'm sorry, but she will make me feel sorry. How do I weather this?

I was browsing a board for people with ADHD and came across a post where an ADHD mother was describing an interaction with her 6-year-old son. She described herself as a busy working single mom. There'd been a lot going on and she decided to have "a chill day." Neither of them got dressed, she spent the day scrolling her phone and reading and he apparently played with his toys by himself.

I fear this post may be interpreted as selfish.  As a non-ADHD partner, I feel there are others who can (albeit possibly reluctantly) admit to sharing my feelings.  

Sometimes I think we are ashamed and feel guilty to admit how angry and impatient we can become as a result of trying to navigate the minds of our ADHD partners and how they impact/affect us individually and as a couple.

Hi. My adhd husband just picked me up from work. He was happy and everything was good. I asked him to go into a store to pick up a case of aluminum tins Bec I was eating lunch in the car. He went in happily and came out cursing on the top of his lungs in the parking lot, screaming in front of people and slams the car door shut as he came in the car. Saying this is the last time he is buying tins Bec it’s $45 a box. I screamed saying what’s wrong with you.why are reacting like this. He told me to shut up! And I said No you should’ve bought pyrexes.

In a couple of days there’s a birthday party for one of my best friends. I said I’d be there. It’s far, half a day on a train. 

My ex and I split about a month ago. It was the culmination of long years of difficulty, loneliness and stress for me; a supportive and nurturing marriage for him. He’s successful and high earning in his field. I am stalled, burned out, part time, looking after the kids still, struggling to get a professional role. I left because he didn’t hear me when I asked for change. I left because he didn’t think what I was saying mattered. I left because I became so unhappy I was thinking of killing myself.

I’ll never be able to inhabit the mind of my ADHD wife and know what it feels like to truly not be able to execute a task. 

But she’ll also never be able to inhabit my mind, and to feel what it’s like to do every task anyway - no matter how much I’d rather not.

It's literally just math. Our expenses are higher than our revenue. Eventually we will run out of money; then we will start to go into debt; then we will get so in debt nobody will lend to us. Then what?  She isn't absolutely terrible about spending but it still bothers me - like if she is at home five days a week but still buys lunch once or twice a week, while I bring my lunch to the office every single day. But she cannot for the life of keep steady employment

Is a huge step forward for me. The ability to experience my normal triggers without reacting is really a big deal. It's not about containing or controlling the feelings that are uncontrollable....it's more, that you don't have those emotions ( feelings ) in the first place, or they're reduced so much, they're almost under the radar.