Recent Comments

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 1 day ago
    I really wish their was more help for the normals. I understand trying to help those with ADHD, but there needs to be more information for those who deal with it, and not more " don't do or say anything that might upset your ADHD partner".
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 1 day ago
    For sure. They learn very quickly what to say to you- because they heard you say it lol. They are incapable of having a normal, free flow conversation like an adult. Utterly incapable. They give canned answers because its all they know. It's almost like how Dexter used to know the appropriate things to do on his show. But they do not feel sorry, or feel responsible. They never, ever, really do. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Feeling hopeless

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 5 months 1 day ago
    After reading this: "I think that if you are financially secure and can hire out work such as lawn care, house cleaning, maintenance, Ubers to drive the kids, have groceries delivered, have money to spend on a date night; life with ADD spouse might be less stressful." I thought to myself--you might as well be single, raising the kids.  Marriage is supposed to be a partnership . If the spouse doesn't contribute at all, ADHD or not, what is the point in being married or in a relationship? Just my two...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 1 day ago
    Even if you are financially secure enough to hire out all of that work, you still have to deal with the anger, the negativity, the verbal abuse,  the false memories, the endless rambling stories which are probably not true, the paranoia, the jealousy, the inappropriate comments toward others, the lack of boundaries, the entitlement, the unreliability, the misinterpretation of what you say, the manipulation, the resentment, the addictive personality, the hoarding, the dependence, and the childishness and...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 1 day ago
    Isn’t it great to be free of them? You don’t realize how wonderful “normal” can be. Having a normal husband is like a luxury for me! He’s kind, honest, confident, loving, fun, reliable, respected, educated, successful, patient, someone to be proud of..... ALL of the things my ADHD ex was NOT! 
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 1 day ago
    The definition of insanity....you know the rest....... People with ADHD operate in a world where normals cannot, will not , ever understand. You either accept it and move on, or move out and move on. Only two choices. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Sure, I'll help...

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 1 day ago
    My ex would bring random crap to her house. Her garage was filled with Halloween outfits from five years ago, you name it. She even brought home a life size cutout of The Rock. There is a hoarder component to ADHD IMO. I don't know why. I think its because they develop comorbidities and hoarding is one of them. Not sure.  My advice- wait until hes gone / asleep/ whatever and start throwing stuff out, little by little.  Small stuff first as to not raise awareness.  If really desperate, call 911 for a...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hoarding

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 1 day ago
    One thing that is not talked about much, if at all, in all the ADHD articles I've read is the sexually inappropriate nature of so many of their comments / outbursts.  They fixate on something and watch out !! I could not joke around about anything of an adult nature with my ex before she was commenting on her past sexual conquests.  They literally say anything that pops in their head. Anything.  I got upset one time and after I said what I did she actually stopped doing it. For a couple of weeks.  It...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 1 day ago
    Have you ever argued with a child ? There you go. You can't win. ADHD's know their memory is bad. They get defensive about it, and then attack you for something they actually remember.  It is an endless cycle of pain. Logic, reason, facts, and proof mean nothing to someone with ADHD. They have their own world. They will make you think you are the crazy one if you let them. Don't.
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with Lies

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 1 day ago
    Good for you.  Make no mistake, my heart aches for my ex and all who suffer from ADHD. But they are in their own little world, and normals are never a part of it really. Only when the ADD partner needs something. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Break Up (ADHD)

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 1 day ago
    Dead on. ADHD people know very well how to manipulate and turn on the charm when they want something. I dealt with it a lot in a very short time. I painted a mailbox for my ex , which hadn't seen paint in ten years. Not even a thank you until I mentioned it three days later, and even then it was a sheepish " I noticed" by her.  Most people will never have the money to pay for the things the ADHD partner should be doing. It's a farce to even suggest it.  The question is always this - WHY BE WITH SOMEONE...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: adhd32 - 5 months 1 day ago
    The characteristics listed are the very ones many of our ADD partners exploit. The one about the non partner having good employment (just in case) is insulting. Many non moms who post here support the family while ADD husband is at home supposedly looking for work but is really playing video games.  Often he does nothing else, no child care, no housework, no cooking or grocery shopping and Mom picks up all the slack.  The other trait often exploited by the stay-at-home ADDer is the good nature of the...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: MATTHD - 5 months 1 day ago
    My wife began divorce paperwork but has yet to file. She consistently reaches out to me to tell me that she's struggling, wants to make sure I'm OK. She really cares about me and loves me, but does not see her side of the equation; at least as it relates to ADHD. I'm torn between my undying love for her and the fact that I wanted out of the relationship for at least 2 years. Codependency R' Us. I also messed up a LOT in our relationship and hurt her quite a bit. We both did. I'm hoping to set up a "...
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband Left Me, Does Not Recognize ADHD As An Issue

  • by: MATTHD - 5 months 2 days ago
    OMG the robotic comments and fake apologies...."canned answers". In my case, my wife will say (every time), "i'm sorry!"   or "you must feel sad and alone".    Partly, she didn't know what else to do and was afraid of my anger....Partly, she just didn't care. I always would ask her to just become curious about the state of affairs and it was absolutely impossible. She didn't see how her behavior caused pain and therefore, because her intentions weren't consciously malevolent, must not have happened. You...
    >>> on Forum topic - Feeling hopeless

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 5 months 2 days ago
    Read the post entitled: What can I possibly say to his faulty recall
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with Lies

  • by: ebecoat01 - 5 months 2 days ago
    Whats faulty about it?
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with Lies

  • by: adhdquestion - 5 months 2 days ago
    I have no stress now. Im not clenching my jaw, im not anxious and clenching my fist, i have no worry in my stomach, there's no drama, no arguments and it's just calm. I couldn't see it when i was close to it but it was so unhealthy to be with someone undiagnosed with ADHD. It's not their fault and she tried so hard but the emotional rollercoaster for someone like myself who is anxious, was so unhealthy. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Break Up (ADHD)

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    It makes adults act like spoiled , selfish brats sometimes no doubt. Control what you can control. They are chaos . Always will be.  Get out and find peace.
    >>> on Forum topic - Who cares if the ADHD is what makes them act like jerks???

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    You have not failed. You cannot defeat that which has never been defeated.  Adult ADHD is as bad a curse as any mental illness IMO. I've seen and dealt with them all. You name it, I've seen it. Do not feel bad for wanting peace, happiness, and tranquility in your life. The pain won't last, but your new found happiness will.
    >>> on Forum topic - Coming apart at seams

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    It's never too late to start over. With someone else that is.  He is defiant and blames you for his problems. Like an 8 year old.  You were not created to be his caretaker. You are supposed to be a partner. There is never a true partnership with a normal and a person with ADHD. Never. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Am I losing my mind?

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