Recent Comments

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 6 days ago
    I appreciate what Melissa does. I do. I think this website and all its honesty is a godsend to those with ADHD and the people who are in relationships with them. It helped me recognize and try to help an ex GF I was dating . She didn't take my advice, but I tried. This article is meant to be pro ADHD of course. It is extremely one sided, and literally calls for a saint to be with someone who has ADHD. She knows this folks.  Being with or marrying an ADHD person is an exercise in futility IMO. There is a...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 6 days ago
    Some of this has  to do with gaps in their memory. Their short term memory is horrible, so lots of times they may not even remember what they said or did the first time, and then try to fill in the blanks, which is perceived as lying. I dealt with that with my ex GF and I wondered WTH she was even talking about sometimes. Some of this may be outright lying. It's hard to tell with people with ADHD, and some of them know this and use that excuse. It will be a constant thing forever man. Good luck.   
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with Lies

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 6 days ago
    Why endure this pain ? Do you think he's going to ever stop ?  The answer is no he won't. Get out and live a happy life.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Delusional runaway husband

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 6 days ago
    He has shown you who he is. It's up to you to believe him. Move out and get safe first.You can always work on things when he can't physically hurt you.
    >>> on Forum topic - Is he manipulating me? Nerves completely frayed. Please help.

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 6 days ago
    Run, do not walk. Read a bunch of the people on here. It is an endless cycle of sadness and lonliness that can never be broken.
    >>> on Forum topic - Can't tolerate wife anymore

  • by: Stephanie223 - 5 months 6 days ago
    It seems like you're on the right track because there is something definitely going on with his mental health. I know you said "I'm sorry" for taking him outside, but you are not responsible for his inability to handle change. You are not responsible for any of his emotions. He needs a psychological evaluation at an inpatient facility, especially since he is actively suicidal. You may be able to have him involuntarily committed. Check with your local community service board or emergency services and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Can't tolerate wife anymore

  • by: adhd32 - 5 months 1 week ago
    The difference between 2 therapists can be night and day. One can prescribe meds and listen to you talk but never challenges you.  Another can ask thoughtful questions, helps you strategize a better plan, and expects you to do homework between sessions. Managing you life requires more than meds. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Medicated and can't control symptoms

  • by: adhd32 - 5 months 1 week ago
    Do they ever object to your expectations for them to manage your responsibilities? It sounds as if you want a partner to acquiesce to avoid conflict and not upset you, to clean up after you, to organize your life, and to be pleasant while doing so. 
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: Heethin - 5 months 1 week ago
    I haven't read this article yet, but I wanted to comment about the types of guys I've had long lasting relationships with that meshed well with my ADD. Guys that are calm (because I have anxiety), outgoing and happy (I am too so they know the ins nd outs of being this way), organized (because I am NOT), nergetic (to clean up my messes) an understanding or simple as far as life (not his brain lol)  Guys like this are so easy to live with and make having this disability easier to live with...My marriage...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 1 week ago
    My ex was horrible about commenting on waitresses’ looks, sometimes to their face, which was really embarrassing! He would fixate on a particular woman in a restaurant and spend our entire dinner commenting on her. “She’s good looking, but her stomach looks like she’s had a baby.  How can she eat with that lip ring???? I wonder what it’s like to kiss a girl with a lip ring?” He talked like a horney 14 year old boy with no insight into how disappointing, frustrating, and embarrassing his behavior was. He...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: 1Melody1 - 5 months 1 week ago
    For the last 10 years of our relationship, we watched TV separately. I used to wonder how he could even enjoy - or merely understand - a show with so many interruptions and tangents. I certainly couldn't. And it's funny you would say that about a newscaster's looks. That was a really large part of the conversation... people's looks, especially women. "Do you think she's Korean?" / "She's starting to look old." / "Her nose is big but otherwise she's pretty attractive."  I found it really grating and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 1 week ago
    Did your ex also talk through tv shows and movies? If my ex wasn’t talking constantly through a movie, like “Oh no, look out! Look over there! He’s going to get shot!!!” I knew he had fallen asleep. The thing that irritated me the most would be when he would tell me the ending if he had seen it before.  Many many times he would comment on a newscaster’s looks so much that you couldn’t hear what the news was. Then he might be reminded of some unrelated experience that resulted in a 10 minute story from him...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: 1Melody1 - 5 months 1 week ago
    My ex did this as well. When he would finish the sentence in a way other than how I was going to, he'd often go off on a tangent with HIS idea. On the rare occasion he'd eventually ask, "What were you going to say?", I would most often forget because I'd been interrupted and diverted to his topic. Then HE would get mad that I didn't remember... and actually thought I was only pretending to forget because I was mad he interrupted me. It was very frustrating.
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 1 week ago
    He thought that meant we were soulmates because he would finish my sentences, rather than listen to what I was trying to tell him. He would usually be wrong, and when I would say, “No, that’s not what I was going to say”, it would make him angry, and he would argue that it was what I was going to say, and that he knew me better than I know myself. He made A LOT of assumptions, and then treated these assumptions like they were absolutely factual, which just made things even worse. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 5 months 1 week ago
    I actually believe the counselor session did help somewhat, although I asked him to do something the other day, he forgot to note it on his phone, and it was out of his mind! He believes he can use his phone to remind him of items to do, but if he does not enter it then it is not much use. He has also started to talk over me even more--answering a question before I even finish as he just cannot wait for me to quit speaking. Problem is sometimes my question is not what he believes it to me. This has just...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 1 week ago
    You can’t just put a band-aid on ADHD that says “Jesus”.  That is just lazy and a cop out. And what about the uncooperative ADHD angry abusive spouse? They should not be selfish, THEY should put their mate and their children first, not themselves. But they won’t.  EVER. So you will just be another martyr I guess.  If Jesus could heal ADHD (or any other disease) why the hell are so many innocent people suffering???? Get real lady! Are you so special that you think Jesus will heal your marriage, while...
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 1 week ago
    You said “the grass is not greener” outside of your relationship. I can guarantee you that it is MUCH GREENER once you get the angry abusive person out of your life!
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband

  • by: davinci89 - 5 months 1 week ago
    I hope there has been some positive carryover from your husband's visit with the counselor.  I wonder how much it takes for it to sink in since their brains are wired so differently? Do they even have the capacity to store it long term? Certainly some things they do, or they wouldn't function in the world, so how do we tap into that?  In the meantime, keep finding yourself, love yourself, and stay true to you. May you take the time to enjoy your day
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 5 months 1 week ago
    Everyone has to do what is best based on what they believe is right. We all have a choice and I made mine. After over a decade of emotional abuse,  gaslighting and manipulative behavior on the part of my husband, I filed for divorce.  Did I regard my marriage as sacred,  did I regard it as a commitment? Absolutely.   I couldn't take it anymore. I did what I had to do for me and my children.  I tried to make it work for 10 years but I couldn't change anyone but myself. It was heartbreaking. I didn't want...
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband

  • by: 1Melody1 - 5 months 1 week ago
    ... is a "religious" person bragging about their values while calling other human beings pigs and dogs and selfish. I have not called you anything, nor did I even respond to your post, but rather to someone else's thoughts and situation. I won't be reading or commenting further on this thread but wish the OP the best.
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband

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