Recent forum posts (all topics)

How much is rigid, inflexible thinking a part of your ADHD partner’s life?  

Rigidity in ideas plus the quick-to-judgment reflex and an impatience/intolerance for thinking things through thoroughly... those are what I see here, and wow.  This is one area that threatens to kill our relationship in more and more ways.  

I’ve observed that rigidity causes the most trouble for him in the relating to others, rather than habits or perfectionism. 

Hi,

I am new to online communities and new to living with a partner with ADHD; obviously I am in a crisis moment. 

my wife told me last night that she want a divorce, she’s done. 

My heart is broken and I’m bleeding out, the devastation and sense of loss I’m feeling is so painful I want to crawl into a hole and die.

Was sayingto H last night that when I say "You hurt me deeply. I am hurting." It is not ok for him to argue with me about whether or not I have the right to feel hurt. It is also not ok to blame me for something he chose to do. It is also not ok to say it's not that big of a deal. I told him that as my husband if I feel hurt he needs to own his behavior. Found this info about the 4 denials of responsibility and it is on point. Posting in case it's helpful to someone else.

DH says now that he is using a calendar again he feels like a drunk who was on a binge but is now going straight. Makes me want to scream and pull all my hair out. 

He says he can't fix everything overnight. I agree. But he had a system that worked and *he* decided to stop using it bc it was "boring". 

I am beyond frustrated and I am so angry at him for not using the tools that he was offered 3 years ago. It is not my fault that he chose not to do the work. 

I am just tired, sorry but needed to vent. 

My husband said he would have ADHD since his son was diagnosed. He was just like his son when he was a kid. We have tried counseling/treatment, took Dr Thomas Brown's test but the result was, he didn't have it. He was surprised about it though. We didn't know this test takes a patient's word, not family member or friends who are close to him/her. The doctor had some serious health issues, closed his clinic. End of the treatment.

I’ve followed this blog/community for a while...reading all of your posts,  trying to validate the things that I’ve been dealing with and I’ve found them all very helpful.  I’m starting to find my voice and this is my first attempt to tell someone what I’ve  been dealing with my husband for 19 years, married for 13 years on May 6th, and the last 10 years have been a train wreck.  When we first met we had all of the typical ADHAD hyper focus stuff. He made me feel like no other man had ever made me feel. I was his world. I was everything.

I'm not surprised. Life sucks sometimes.

I'm 40, and I was only diagnosed two weeks ago after our couples therapist (literally in our 2nd session, it was wild), suggested I get tested.  It was the absolute first time anyone had even mentioned this as a possibility.  Of course looking back it makes sense (sound familiar?)

Saw something in the New York Times that could help with these issues: www.Focusmate.com

I haven't tried it but it sounds good. It's free and sessions are unlimited. You need a computer with a camera. You sign up, get matched with a virtual co-worker, and you schedule a 50 minute work session. Having a virtual co-worker counting on you at a certain time helps you get started and stay on task. Sounds cool.