Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have been married for over 17 years we have three kids, he is the love of my life. When we were dating I noticed a pattern of lies, money issues, and rage issues (road rage ) . I must go back several years for this to make sense. My husband had had 7 (yes 7) failed busineses. For the first several years we lived with my parents, during that time he had an emotional affair with a woman for 2 years I begged for him to stop, tried to tell him how he was ruining our marriage. All night phone conversations , phone sex, lies with her contributed to my feelings.

Hi!  I'm new here, and while I have learned A LOT so far (the books have helped me to feel like I was able to decode a language I couldn't speak before), I am stuck in trying to decide what to do.  I apologize in advance for the length of this post - believe it or not, it's the short version!  Lol

       I know that people with ADHD are prone to depression, but it's something I've never put "together" with my own husband's ADHD. But he DOES have depression, and sometimes absolutely nothing gets him out of it.   I've started logging just WHEN he gets his rounds of depression. They seem to hit him about every 6 to 8 weeks, and it lasts about a week to 10 days. QUESTION:   Is this a "usual" pattern for ADHD'ers? Do they have repetitive BOUTS of depression, or is there depression most of the time?

So I've been reading a lot of these posts, many of which are Non-ADHD women with ADHD husbands.  I am a Non-ADHD husband and am at my whit's end.  I really don't even know where to begin or what to say here, other than the fact that I am confused, frustrated, tired, and just plain fed-up.  My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and I work from a home office.  Overall, I am frustrated with my wife's significant lack of homemaking skills which include general cleaning & organizing, decorating, planning, etc.   The appearance and cleanliness of our home does not seem to matter to her in any way wh

The previous thread has become difficult to follow and comment on....so... My H never been reliable, but he gets even worse when he knows it will hurt me. For instance, if he's supposed to help us get ready for something that he's agreed to doing, then he will use that to get what he wants. "I've decided that I won't help with that (or go to that) unless you apologize for (something that I didn't do!)" It's gotten to the point that I refuse to give him these opportunities.

I finally managed to get my Husband to a counselor who recognizes ADD, the counselor actually did extensive research and is really understanding our situation, my Husband is scheduled with a Psychiatrist for meds.  Nevertheless, that's as far as it went, and I lost hope.  He wouldn't do anything beyond that, no discussions at home, kept avoiding having me involved in "his" counseling, and started to back off his belief that he even has ADD.  After much thought, and reading a lot of the posts here, as well as my books and the books on Co-Dependency, I went to our last session (against his wi

For the longest time, I have scratched my head when my H would be unreasonable/yell/etc and then he'd excuse his response by saying, "you've been a bitch all (week, month, day, etc).    I would think back and wonder what he was talking about because I had not been "bitchy".....as a matter of fact, H will proudly tell others that I'm always in a good mood, and that I never nag.  (which of course, leaves others scratching their heads because of his complaints about me then don't fit with that.)  

 

I must admit, I re-read some words last night that I had originally thought would be a huge catalyst in sending my relationship in a new direction:

"If you keep your boundaries, those who are angry at you will have to learn self-control for the first time, instead of “other control,” which has been destructive to them anyway. When they no longer have control over you, they will find a different way to relate. But, as long as they can control you with their anger, they will not change."