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The difficulty I am having is this:  I don't know what DH is doing with his life, with our money, with his business, how he feels, who he is.  He could be depressed or going crazy or having an affair or he could be fine with his coping skills and "leave me alone" attitude. I don't know because he manipulates me with lies and distraction but does not share him self with me.  I feel like a fool and I am lonely for real companionship and partnering in life rather than this battle.  

This post is part rant, part seeking help and ideas.

I am the non and hubs is untreated. Our 5 years together have been a struggle. He is a wonderful man but his impulsivity both in spending and behavior has been a problem. It is much better over the last few years than it was in the beginning. His lack of parenting to his children has created some difficult situations. His lack of attention to cleaning up after himself has been an expensive problem.

It's been a little more than 5 months since my wife moved out into the spare bedroom.  It's been a little more than 4 months since I was diagnosed with ADHD and started treatment.

                                       **PLEASE NOTE: I WELCOME ANY COMMENTS/INSIGHT YOU MAY HAVE!**

I have been with my spouse for four years, but only married for four months. Finally, after years of the same dysfunctional patterns repeating themselves over and over did I suspect that something may be off with him. I am a nurse and should have known sooner, but I was looking at myself as the probable culprit of our friction. Of course, both partners contribute, but...

My ADHD husband and I split two months ago, after he flew into a rage one day in early August and left. We had been having serious trouble for about three years, and had been in marriage counseling. He had been taking Wellbutrin for about a year and Adderall for about six months at that point, a 10mg dose twice a day. I didn't really dig into it in August or over the last two months, which have been a nightmare of custody battles and legal wrangling that pretty much wiped us out. But we settled, and for the past two weeks haven't had much contact with each other.

It's been a while since I've posted on this site, as I'm no longer dating someone with ADHD. It took me months to figure out that I couldn't handle all the struggles that came with that relationship, but I finally ended that unhealthy relationship and haven't looked back nor communicated with my ex.

The past few weeks have been hard. My ADHD hubby has been distracted beyond belief. The progress we had been making on our marriage just seems like it's come to a screeching halt. Some days I'm fine, and then other days, like today, I want to scream and tear my hair out.

I am 54 and my ADHD husband is about to turn 70.   I am debating divorce vs. separation, leaning toward separation.  Any thoughts, please?  I know this is a long post, but I have no family, and few friends after this roller-coaster of a marriage.  Here's the situation:

I am new to this forum - have seen Melissa at a talk in Toronto recently and my wife having suggested I read the book, and  I am diagnosed Add.  I recently threw a bombshell into my married life and incredibly, my wife still wants to work on things.  My biggest problem seems to be a maladaptive coping strategy of avoidance.  I have been to see too many different therapists jumping around due to finance issues (looking for quick fix) but there are some things I learned that ring true.