Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am coming up on a crossroads in my life.  I have a husband that loves me more than anything and I know that.  But in the midst of dealing with his issues relating to (non-diagnosed) ADHD and life in general I do not like what I have become.  I need space and time alone to find myself and get back to what I once was which will help our lives more than anything else.  The rub?  I know that a separation will destroy him.  Even if I explain that this is what we need to help our marriage survive he will see it as an end and give up.  So, once again, I am putting his needs before mine.  I am ta

I am going to print this and let it lay around the house somewhere.  So DH will read it and think about the joy for getting something done.

I feel so strange,very strange and uncomfortable also very stupid,I don't know what to do, I am confuse,he confuses me,and he has me thinking the pain would go away when it is still right there.He hurts me a lot and he can't see how much he is hurting me,I love him to much to be true,I was always able to leave a past boyfriend before who even tempted to cause me pain but,this one is hard for me, I am so not happy.I am not happy now, and then tomorrow I am, and then again "mix feelings" I am always having these mix feelings,Today I woke up knowing the day would be strange and uncomfortable,T

First of all, I appreciate Melissa's words and experience, and all of the people on this site so much. All of you dealing with ADHD in your marriages, your advice and experiences are getting me through the days right now. I wish I could buy each of you a cup of coffee or something:-)

I am so mired in a morass of sadness and helplessness that at the moment, I don't know where I went. I would appreciate any ideas anyone out there has. May be random, and long, but here goes: 

Where do I begin? From the beginning I suppose. My husband and I met about 4 years ago, I was recently divorced and had an 8 week old baby boy from my ex who high tailed it into the military and is still not in my sons life. So what did my husband do, he took my son in as his own :) I was IN LOVE with this man.

To me perhaps the hardest thing is this: my husband is THE person I want to turn to when I hurt, when I feel someone has been unkind to me or treated me unfairly, when I need loving support or advice in dealing with a difficult situation. He is the person I trust most in the world in that we began our lives together, more than 20 years ago, with a foundation of mutual respect, honesty, caring, understanding, etc, etc. and have created a wonderful family and a (mostly) comfortable home and life together.

Before I begin, read this with the understanding that I know I have created many our problems but I think that the first domino that broke down in our marriage was the ADD aspect of my wife.

We've been married for 26 years. Initially, my wife was very sexual, creative and a thrill seeker. It didn't take long into our marriage for her to simply 'forget' sex and then get mad when after 5 days I was in need. 

Why is the idea of "trying differently" so hard for ADHDers to grasp and agree to?  I'm just having a bad day of frustration over my relationship that ended.  We spent a great year and 1/w and then we spent a year at each other's throats - but always coming back to each other - and that didn't work.  I suggested that the way we were working on things wasn't working, so how about trying differently -  that was not welcomed.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD several years ago and has been on and off Ritalin, usually taking it only when he needs to focus on something important like a work deadline. It has taken its toll on our marriage and we separated 6 months ago after 26 years. I have been in therapy for the last 9 months dealing with my issues that have contributed to our problems and trying to reach a decision about staying or leaving the marriage. Recently my therapist suggested that I should be evaluated for ADHD myself. I was thoroughly surprised, but as I've done some reading, I think she's right.

I have coped all these years of marriage to ADD husband by distracting myself, rationalizations, prioritizing, working for the greater good, having occasional tantrums, and denial all while being confused.  Yes, those are exactly what a sane person does to cope with a situation that is not to their liking but needing to accommodate.  I am new to the realization that DH has ADD.   With this clarity, I am glad for the confusion to be lifted.