Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi everyone, i guess i get so frustrated by the description of the ADD person.  They are incapable of finishing anything, they are unreliable and they are a burden on the non ADD spouse. I have ADD and am classic about the highs of life thing. I am however, raising 3 girls, I started a Green Team in our town (including a website), I am on the Board of a local sports organization and have 2 other jobs that needed to be fixed. I am helping to improve some youth issues in towns. When people have issues, they come to me b/c they know I know how to fix it.

I have been reading her for quite some time now. My husband has ADD. He was diagnosed as a child. I didn't know this until after we were married. Looking back on our 10yr relationship, I now see all of the signs.

So, a few days ago, I had (what I think is) a great idea. My main way of coping with my husband and his ADHD is by ranting. Unfortunately, my friends and family, who don't really understand ADHD at -all-, tend to start disliking my husband because of the things I complain about. They think he's really inconsiderate and rude, etc. So instead of ranting to them, I started an online blog today so that I could share my husband's antics with other ADHD spouses and maybe get a little feedback and/or understanding without the condemnation to my husband.

M husband was diagnosed about a year ago and was prescribed Adderall for his ADHD.  It really did make a difference, but he has been struggling with the addictive nature of the medicine.  I've found out tonight he has been abusing it for the past months.  Feel like 4 steps forward, 20 backward.  Does anyone else know anything about this and what did you do?  I mean if its a syndrome and helps, is that just a side note that it's addictive?  Help!  I am shocked and really disappointed right now.  Thanks.
 

My ADHD husband has told me, "I keep things inside me, even though I'm really upset about something, but you have a harder time doing that". This doesn't make sense to me, because I believe that open communication is the key to a good relationship,  not "keeping it all inside". I don't nag or yell at him about things, I've  never been a nag, because I don't like that, but he REALLY has a hard time when I want to openly discuss something. He can talk for hours on lots of other things, but when it comes to US, he totally clams up. I don't understand.

How do you really know if your husband/wife is (or was) in love with you, when they act on impulse much of the time? This is very hard to understand because of the drastic change from dating to marriage, with almost a complete turnaround in actions. It IS hard to believe that they still love you when there is no more affection, and you end up living as roommates. I'd like to hear some view points from those who have ADHD, as well as others. THANKS

It has been a while since I posted. I've gotten so much help from this forum. I have been in counseling both with and without my non-add partner (DW) since January of this year. We had 3 sessions together and each one was bad for her, her words. She always came back to the massive hurt and stuff that years of my ADD behavior caused; I've always acknowledged this to her.

I tried posting this poem I wrote before, but it came out in a funky format.  I was able to get it in the forum in the proper form.  I am newly diagnosed with ADHD and have had it my whole life.  I figured out I had it through all the trouble I have had in my marriage.   It really has been a crazy journey learning about ADHD and it's affects.  I am not a poet but this poem came into my head while  I was stuck in traffic.  Not sure why it came out of me, so I figured I would share.  I am typically poor at communicating my feelings to my wife about everything.  When I was able to read this

The Beginning
I met my wife seven years ago. At the time, we worked together at a small locally owned company; she was an RN/Manager and I was the Network Administrator. We quickly became friends and talked frequently. About a year into our friendship we both went through divorces. Soon after we started dating; this was something new for both of us, as neither of us had ever dated a close friend. We fell in love and married pretty quickly. I brought a son from my previous marriage and we soon found out that she was pregnant with her first child and our first together.

  I have been burned out for over 3 years, and don't know WHERE to begin to help myself get better. We had almost 24 undiagnosed years which were chaotic and fast paced due to the hyperactivity, and emotional upheavals because of all the miscommunication and lack of sensitivity, touch, love, etc., then the loss of friends and jobs, with his 3 year affair on top of it all. It burned me out completely, and I feel guilty because I don't have (whatever it is) to get back up and start again. I hate what I see in the mirror and I hate how I feel, and I do want to change, but I'm lost.