Recent Comments

  • by: AuM - 4 days 9 hours ago
    Hi nonadhub,  It is SO great to hear from another Autistic person grappling with the same issues! It can be hard enough to find others who understand the challenges of one partner being neurodivergent, let alone both partners and, as you say, in such opposing ways. You are completely right about the masking, which I wasn't taking into account - I think this has caused me to underestimate or misunderstand the causes of much of the conflict in the relationship. Like many people, after getting the formal...
    >>> on Forum topic - Autistic woman living with ADHD partner - please help!

  • by: AuM - 4 days 9 hours ago
    Hi C,  Thank you so much for this thoughtful reply! There is so much wisdom in here and I really appreciate you sharing what you've learned. It really struck me what you said about being at peace with leaving if it comes to that. Like you, I have always been really independent and didn't need another person, but rather wanted to share my life with someone else. But I think along the way I came to believe that I am more dependent than I am (not least because of medical people telling me that I am more '...
    >>> on Forum topic - Autistic woman living with ADHD partner - please help!

  • by: sickandtired - 5 days 11 hours ago
    Just hoping you could check in and let us know how you are feeling now that a little time has gone by. Sending you hugs. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: 1Melody1 - 5 days 13 hours ago
    Hi AuM... you have had some great feedback on here already. I just wanted to give you the perspective of someone who recently left a very similar situation. I am not Autistic, but I can relate to feeling like you are living life for your spouse (on top of running your own life). I also felt like I was functioning for two people and was totally burnt out. I also got quite sick as a result (depression with physical symptoms, chronic insomnia, nervous breakdown). I was with my spouse for over 20 years and I...
    >>> on Forum topic - Autistic woman living with ADHD partner - please help!

  • by: nonadhdhub - 5 days 14 hours ago
    Hi AuM - Was immediately drawn to your post. I do not have an official ASD diagnosis but in my exploration of ADHD and neurodivergence I've found that I relate to almost all textbook male ASD-related traits. At this point consider me ASD with self-diagnosis... My wife has ADHD and much of what you said resonated with me especially around how it impacts me regarding the inconsistencies, the messes, the disruptions, coldness, and how that has been an impact to my mental health for 2 decades. As you...
    >>> on Forum topic - Autistic woman living with ADHD partner - please help!

  • by: c ur self - 5 days 15 hours ago
    I remarried a single lady after my first wife passed away, she is diagnosed add, (adderall) and possibly on the autism scale (she thinks she is, and it makes sense)...We like you have been married 13 years now... I want go into all the symptoms, you named them very well, so the pain of these difference's don't need to be belabored by me....As for  myself, I'm an HSP, and I was raised to be organized, (I need organization) I also am a planner to a degree. (especially when it effects others)...So as you...
    >>> on Forum topic - Autistic woman living with ADHD partner - please help!

  • by: Tokiwa - 1 week 5 hours ago
    Hi, first of all, I am not a native English speaker. My English might not easy to understand sometime.  My husband and I have been together for 25 years now and just recently found out he has probably ADHD. He is going to see a specialist soon. I love him very much but I have to say our relationship went through a lot of tough moments. He had a girlfriend and I didn't know at all. Once this happened, I was always scared if something similar happens again. Rebuilding trust is very very hard on me or you....
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD & Affairs - redefining our boundaries

  • by: Elena - 1 week 3 days ago
    I deeply appreciate your reply. My free time is extremely limited. There is so much more I want to share & recognize it will take considerable time to do so. The sensation of being 'crushed' has not abated..yet. Only now (10/17) was I able to get online & read your reply. The idea that you took the time to reply was a huge blessing & deeply appreciated. Hopefully the free time I need will come. I surely need it. Thank you for being there   With Deep Appreciation   Elena
    >>> on Forum topic - Will I Survive This?

  • by: Elena - 1 week 3 days ago
    1Melody1 Only now (10/17) did I get back online & read your most welcome reply. Reading your words was such a blessing. Saying "Thank You" doesn't begin to express my gratitude. I don't have very much free time right now & recognize my response won't be as detailed as I need to share. To say I feel crushed is an understatement. The things I get 'blamed' for are beyond ridiculous. They make no logical sense at all. However, the depth of despair has hit a new low. Please, understand that I need to...
    >>> on Forum topic - Will I Survive This?

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 1 week 3 days ago
    Hugs.  :(
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Gayle - 1 week 4 days ago
    What do I do when I can't rely on spouse you ask.  Do it myself  give him deadlines  ignore and focus on my needs give up
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Gayle - 1 week 4 days ago
    No he is not. I've given him tools suggestions counselor names coaching ideas been his personal organizer. He doesn't follow thru. Can't manage two lives. 
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 1 week 4 days ago
    Is he treated 
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Gayle - 1 week 4 days ago
    I'm fed up and want out of my marriage
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 1 week 4 days ago
    I had a phone conference with the attorney yesterday. Bottom line is I am responsible for all debts incurred in the marriage. Only option to get my name off Equity Line is to have husband get a new mortgage in his name only, closing out current Equity Line, with using house as collateral. Husband would be responsible for paying new mortgage with his business funds (since all of the debt is business related), but just the house would be encumbered. If he does not pay the mortgage, then the house would be at...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 1 week 5 days ago
    is he treated what are the things you have trouble with his adhd 
    >>> on Forum topic - Will I Survive This?

  • by: 1Melody1 - 1 week 5 days ago
    I recently left my ADHD spouse of 20 years and I know exactly what you're going through. Please don't feel bad for believing him. I did that too. We see the best in people and we WANT the marriage to work out so badly. I'm sorry you were out at one time and perhaps want to be out again. Maybe there is more going on than just ADHD if he is a therapist. He may be skilled in using words to keep you hoping or keep you doubting yourself. That would add an extra layer. I would recommend that you believe that...
    >>> on Forum topic - Will I Survive This?

  • by: Geir - 1 week 6 days ago
    Good tips for the non-ADHD partner. Any tips for the ADHD partner?
    >>> on Blog entry - Empathy and ADHD

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 2 weeks 1 day ago
    Deleted 
    >>> on Blog entry - Feeling Ignored - The Non-ADHD Spouse Dilemna

  • by: eet5030 - 2 weeks 1 day ago
    You are not alone! I understand what you are feeling. Please know that there are others out there and we can all battle this together. Please contact your doctor if you're having suicidal thoughts. There is always a way through it!
    >>> on Blog entry - Feeling Ignored - The Non-ADHD Spouse Dilemna

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