Recent Comments

  • by: goldenchild321 - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    OMG - Yes, That is exactly what happened in my situation.  I reached out soo many times and finally had to just walk away.  It was far from the case that anyone there would think to reject her and it hurt that she wouldn't be able to later realize that I've always been loving and supportive of her.  However, I have so much grace for her because I could never imagine feeling how she does.  I appreciate you sharing this story with me because although I'm a lot better.  I was sooo lost in soo many ways when...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted by Adhd & RSD partner

  • by: PoisonIvy - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    My husband ghosted me off and on after we had been married about 25 years. It stunk. We're now divorced. I initiated the divorce. He said he wanted to stay married and that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, but that wasn't enough to motivate him to talk to me when we were in different locations.
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: sickandtired - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    Your ex reminds me of a coworker years ago who was walking into a large noisy restaurant for a staff dinner. She was fine until she came inside, and the sound of people talking and laughing among themselves seemed to trigger an RSD event, and she perceived it as if they were laughing at her. She thought she heard a familiar laugh, and assumed it was a former boss who had humiliated her in the past. Sadly, she connected all of this in her mind, ending up in tears, re-living other past painful rejection...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted by Adhd & RSD partner

  • by: goldenchild321 - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    I agree with writing a letter if you need to clear your head.  I did it also... I would also say as you work on moving on part of my therapy has been reading other people's stories and encouraging them.  No judgment just encouragement in whatever they decide to do.  I think this is a small community especially for people seeking to understand.  I feel we are all very fragile individuals at the point of find this community.  As you move forward just don't forget to reach back and encourage someone else that...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: lostcherry - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    Goodness me. Sending lots of love to you. As a newbie, I've no advise. I knew my (assuming) ex had adhd and I did the reading to support the best I could. But I'm starting to learn so much more, I'm just sorry that it's shared misfortunes giving me this insight. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted by Adhd & RSD partner

  • by: sickandtired - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    You said that part of your anguish stems from your inability to “say your piece” to him. I wrote a letter to my ex and it made me feel a lot better, even though I never mailed it.  You could get it off your chest by “writing to him” on this forum. We all support you here. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: lostcherry - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    Thank you all for the support, it really really means a lot right now.  I guess I'm at the various stages of grief at the moment, i cycle between just sheer depression, anger and denial. I think it's probably resurfacing other feelings I've suppressed. So now I'm trying my best to feel like I'm worthy of real love, though maybe the lack of understanding into how people can behave in this manner to another human being shows the kindness of our hearts. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: 1Melody1 - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    Even if he doesn't mean it and could come around, I honestly think you will do so much better without him. Unless he gets help with the ADHD (which he has to want and would have to really work at), this guy won't change. You will end up living in a mess, taking care of his kids (though I'm sure they're wonderful), possibly taking over from his mom in supporting him while he watches cricket and porn. There is no reason for him to change because he is loving his life like this. I don't mean to be blunt, but...
    >>> on Forum topic - Is that it

  • by: goldenchild321 - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    My heart goes out to you!  You can check my recent post but I asked a similar question.  I'm here to tell you that despite how you feel now each day gets a little better - you will slowly regain confidence in yourself.  The pain won't be so strong.  Just keep your head high.  Know you gave it your best and it wasn't about anything that you did wrong.  I can honestly say there are days I'm still sad or it hits me a little differently but not the way it did at first.  Allow yourself the moments to grieve and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: sickandtired - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    Please don’t blame yourself. This guy probably sensed your kindness and used you. That’s what narcs do, as I am sure you know. I was married to an airline pilot who was meeting women online who were into being “sex slaves”, while he acted like a born again Christian at home with me. He tried to make it look like I was the crazy one in divorce court... until I produced his prescription for viagra, which he didn’t need as a 43 year old man. He bought it secretly online. The side effects were written right on...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: Mizeeyore - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    Yeah, after 17 years, I got ghosted.  When confronted, there was only one reason expressed, and that was that the counselor told him to leave if he couldn't control his jealousy of my relationship with my daughter.  I put up with all those years of financial ruin, living on the edge of homelessness several times because of his financial abuses and unemployability, his hoarding, his complete and total devotion to porn, his narcissistic behaviors, and kept my word to him only to get told I should have put...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: lostcherry - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    Thank you. Just wish I could drill that message home to myself, currently this message will not hit home. Maybe it's the lack of being told anything and just erased by someone who seems alien to me. It's the lack of being able to say my piece, I know that wouldn't necessarily help- but it might make me feel better.    I got out of a marriage to a narcissist, I thought I'd seen every kind of cruel emotional abuse but apparently not! 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: sickandtired - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    He is showing you who he is. Apparently he’s a lying cheater who is cruel, cowardly, and unreliable. Congratulations! You’ve dodged a bullet by not going further along in the relationship with this loser. I feel sorry for the other girlfriend if she is still with him.... once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater.  You deserve so much better than this guy who was just using you. I guess he never figured you two ladies would find out about each other. What a creep!  Sending you a hug. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: goldenchild321 - 3 weeks 1 day ago
    I read your post a few weeks ago after coming out of a relationship with my adhd ex and just wanted to say thank you for sharing.  I felt everything you described even down to her being a wonderful woman.  This was one of the most confusing situations I've ever experienced to the point that for therapy I come on and read other peoples stories as I pick up the pieces and move on.  I felt so alone for so long and am grateful for this community.  I personally hope you find peace and grace within yourself as...
    >>> on Forum topic - A New Marriage Reckoning

  • by: Shaky1 - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    I'm so deeply sorry you're experiencing such worry and pain. I'm a zombie wreck after only a short time so cannot imagine withstanding so many years. Whatever you decide to do, remember you are not alone, have support, and can do this. This weekend it got so bad for me I fled my home and had to pull car over to calm down and call a friend to talk me off the ledge. I've never been in such darkness. Knowing this board was here, that I am not insane, that my life is still valuable helped immensely and I made...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: 1Melody1 - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    When I went to see a lawyer, I was shaking so much. But I got through it and got the answers I needed. It feels good to take control of your own life even though it's hard. I think you are so strong for taking this step. 
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    I appreciate the advice. Counselor said basically the same thing, so will be calling for an appointment today. Not what I had wished for, but I cannot allow my financial future to be compromised by his lack of attention to finances.
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: sickandtired - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    Your description of being a household appliance struck me as dead on. I felt that way too in my 11 year relationship with an ADHD man. I felt like I was losing myself trying to please him, but he was always angry and blamed me for his constant stream of problems. Just like an appliance, my needs were not important. You don’t need to love your toaster or stove, you just want what it can do for you. Who cares if you insult your ugly refrigerator, as long as it keeps the food cold. That was his attitude about...
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: 1Melody1 - 3 weeks 2 days ago
     If I could walk away and take my name off the house and Equity Line, then I would do so. When I was seeing a therapist, she suggested I speak with a divorce lawyer about my legal concerns over leaving. I took her advice and was glad I did because I got concrete answers to my "what if" questions.  Perhaps you can see a lawyer ASAP to see what recourse you might have in getting your name off those accounts before the situation gets worse (E.G. if you separated today, would that mean you are not...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    .... Was rude and uncalled for. She is merely stating what she has observed in her own relationship. She has tried everything she can think of to make her relationship work and it's not working. At this point she is beating her head against the wall and getting nowhere. They can behave and be almost neurotypical when they want to be. When she said this she was merely pointing out that there are times when his behavior indicates that he is able to control some of his ADHD symptoms.  I'm not going to put...
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

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