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by: loveandregrets -
It will be 43 yrs that I've been married to my husband. The term ADHD is newer to us... I suppose if I was older and wiser when we met (I was 18, he 25.) I would know my plan to marry this man would ruin me. Back in the day he was aloof and funny. Outgoing and adventurous. He worked offshore 6 months out of the year and I thought our life was on the same track and we had planned a wonderful future together. We married 3 years later and after 3 more years had our first child. That's when things came...>>> on Forum topic - Feel like my husband is financially ruining me.
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by: resentful25251 -
So tired is very familiar, irresponsible behavior, does nothing to help, loses everything constantly, cant find anything. he has been leaving the garage door open at night. I also hate being responsible for everything all the time. I know he's got to be ADD or ADHD, but he has no insurance so no pills.>>> on Forum topic - Anyone experienced these with ADHD spouse? Just so tired.
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m glad you seem to get on more pleasantly with your SO. You sound confident. What you wrote made me associate to divorce grief. They say, and I can emotionally relate to it, that acceptance of pain and sorrow makes grieving more manageable. Sometimes, they said, it’s not helpful to analyze pain and struggle with it verbally, but rather to let emotions run their course. I’ve never been good at handling pain but feel a small improvement today. I’m trying to accept that my days are...>>> on Forum topic - Anyone seen/heard from J?
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by: TruthSeeker -
It's been a few months. Any updates? I am interested about a couples things you've mentioned that would concern me too. It sounds like he is abusing medication. No one can go without sleep for three days and not have it harm their brain and body. People can hallucinate if not sleeping that long which can lead to dangerous situations. No other human, adult or child should be subjected to that potential danger without limits and controls (he is acting out of control). Second, the level of...>>> on Forum topic - It has become a safety issue
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by: Swedish coast -
So happy you’re discovering new things and seem to have found a wonderful niche of work to enjoy!>>> on Forum topic - Getting fired and doing Something Different
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by: Sunnyside16 -
.>>> on Forum topic - .
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by: Dpeak -
I've never been officially diagnosed with ADHD, but restlessness—both physically and mentally—has always been a part of my life. My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD, and in watching her navigate interactions, relationships, and life in general, I see many parallels between us. A couple of years ago, I lost my temper with my supervisor during my probation period, which ultimately led to me being fired. My supervisor had his own challenges, but I recognize that I shouldn’t have reacted the...>>> on Forum topic - Getting fired and doing Something Different
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by: anonym -
sorry if i offended anyone by looping in #metoo. just for me it is a fact i have so many blaming and victim stories with ADHD spouse. (or is it ADHD?) one story relevant to this thread about late night confusion is when i came home late from work and she didn't want to shag. fine. the 5yr old woke 1am and came to our room and i take him back to his room and fall asleep with him. next thing i know there is a flashlight in my face and it is two police officers in full bulletproof...>>> on Forum topic - .
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by: honestly -
‘blames every male for being human.’>>> on Forum topic - .
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by: honestly -
If your spouse is behaving in such a way that the kids are scared of him, would you actually have to co-parent? You couldn’t expect them to be alone with him for extended periods if he can’t control himself properly.>>> on Forum topic - .
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by: honestly -
it’s so hard to know, once there’s a diagnosis, what is ADHD and what is something else. I’m still working out the toxic blend of traits that is my ex, all delivered with a victim mentality that has always painted me as the bad guy. But bare minimum you should be able to sleep safely, undisturbed, and your partner should be prioritising your wellbeing to the basic level of letting you sleep. This is at very, very best selfish and that’s not appealing. But it’s also deeply strange and unsettling...>>> on Forum topic - .
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by: J -
As far as my SO and I are doing, things are looking up there as well. For me, coming to terms that I will have to accept certain things I don't like as just part of being with her. She's not going to simply stop being her, bit I also don't have to accept her behavior if she's just getting unreasonable or "grouchy" as she puts it. Grouchy is her mood turning irritable and her tolerance level goes way down along with her patience. This, in my mind, has nothing to do with me or anything I've done ( or...>>> on Forum topic - Anyone seen/heard from J?
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by: J -
Thank you so much for thinking of me. Yes, I'm fine and came back to check in. I'll make a post to report what I'm doing. Making new discoveries as usual, but things are looking up. J>>> on Forum topic - Anyone seen/heard from J?
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by: anonym -
here are some hopefully helpful comments: 1.Couples therapy also didn't work with my ADHD spouse. She got defensive and paranoid when she was "put in a corner". It is an impossible situation when ADHD partner doesn't want help or to improve the relationship, likely because of life-long insecurity and failures. 2.Acting the victim of your own spouse is not necessarily abuse them. If you don't want physical "action" at the same time you are not a victim. And this dynamic of different timing...>>> on Forum topic - .
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by: Swedish coast -
This is abuse of you, no matter what diagnose explains it. There’s no excuse. Please seek a cautious way to get out of this. Contact social services or medical providers. Try to find temporary shelter so you don’t have to cohabit while sorting things out. Leaving an aggressive partner may be dangerous.>>> on Forum topic - .
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by: anonym -
my personal opinion is that if there are children involved you will never be able to extricate yourself from the ADHD partner chaos. but you can manage it. and that the peace is achieved during thier absence, although it is fleeting. and so you need to live in that moment, where without the ADHD partner there is temporary peace. "get away, get away, get away now!!">>> on Forum topic - Too Many Steps?
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by: N4ally2 -
Thank you for sharing your story. I know how hard and confusing it can be to sort through these kinds of dynamics. When it comes to ADHD, it can be really difficult to tell whether a behavior is part of the condition or something more concerning. ADHD often creates challenges for the partner who has it—things like restlessness, emotional dysregulation, or forgetfulness. At the same time, if the non-ADHD partner doesn't fully understand how ADHD shows up, it's easy to misinterpret those behaviors...>>> on Forum topic - .
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m sorry she tries to disrupt your precious remote time. I think removing screens will never be popular with children, but to offer them the alternative - boredom - is a great gift. Boredom always has to precede creativity. I wish I didn’t use my phone as a comforter either, but I do. Scrambling together a life after divorce is hard, with habits and precautions all tailored to severe ADD. I don’t know who I am anymore or what I can manage. Sometimes I feel my ex husband’s weakness...>>> on Forum topic - Too Many Steps?
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by: anonym -
for us the phones don't work unless village. athough reception better over years we still take phone away until village. i love this - the way i grew up! however lots of screen withdrawl sadness for days once arrived remote. pouting. but making rope swings, fishing, peeing on trees, driving boats, making fires, helping with meals... and then the ex sends messages we wll get in village, and convinces them they are being abused due to unreliable reception. (and i think...>>> on Forum topic - Too Many Steps?
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by: Swedish coast -
Funny, the remote summers is something our families seem to share (at least before, now I can’t use the family remote house because it’s a huge trigger to my divorce and difficult marriage pain). I think spending time in nature is the ideal way for any children to build resilience and a healthy self-image. I couldn’t agree more. But then there are screens… which I cannot regulate effectively because of the children’s father. And there’s a ton of entertainment at children’s...>>> on Forum topic - Too Many Steps?
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