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by: pr05t1tut3 -
Do you put away your electronics (i.e. cellphone)? Is it purposefully done or not? Do you have "family discussion" time (all members present)? Interactive & being "present" mentally helps. Is your "spend time with family" just doing chores or talking (contribute negatively or positively to discussion)? Is your partner suffering from post-partum or depression? (Taking time is considered self-care.) Is set strict bedtime for school, daycare, or work? Depending on where you're...>>> on Forum topic - Am I the bad person?
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by: pr05t1tut3 -
I was once told by a stranger that my child likes the process. As a problem-solver, it hit me that my child doesn't care about the end result. I ended up coming to terms with myself: I'll just sit on the side as I watch him make his own decisions since he's a person (different from me). If "the process" & not "end result" is a symptom of adhd, I'm sorry. It's a lifetime.>>> on Forum topic - Taking The Long Way Around
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by: NorthCountryBoy -
Accidental double reply.>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: NorthCountryBoy -
"When the marriage ended, he told me he’d never been able to stand up for himself with me." I'm not sure if it's a universal experience for people with ADHD, but as someone with ADHD, I know I've often felt this way. ADHD symptoms make it very difficult to feel confident in identifying and communicating boundaries because if you as a person with ADHD are aware of the symptoms, then you're aware of how they condition your experience. For example, if I suddenly feel a rush of rage at...>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: NorthCountryBoy -
"Why doesn’t anyone give these kinds of people tools rather than a pill to help them uncover healthy ways to express themselves or how to respond to crying etc!? It’s infuriating that ADHD has become an excuse rather than something that they should be actively working on." "They" do. As an ADHD spouse who has been diagnosed, medicated, and is attending regular therapy sessions, I can attest that therapists with a specialty or extensive experience with ADHD can and will work with clients to...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD as an Excuse
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by: c ur self -
This doesn't pertain to all ADD minds I've encountered, but it seems to be a common theme with many high level ADDers.... The inability to feel, remember, own, recall, see themselves...The reason many of us non's have lived for years in the same mind you are asking why about, is because we can't accept what we can't comprehend...Our hearts and brains feel, remember, own, recall, see ourselves...It took me years to understand these things are missing in her brain and heart... Why do you...>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: Swedish coast -
When I pointed out the ways he’d finally trampled all over my boundaries, he struggled to comprehend. I still don’t think he knows why I want minimum contact at this point. He struggles to understand there is still a relationship (co-parenting, needing trust, decency, accountability) between us even though the romantic relationship is over. It seems he couldn’t at the time of divorce realize the violent way he treated me would wreck that relationship, and there would be consequences affecting his...>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: Off the roller ... -
That sounds so tough - a lot of us have been there too: when the partner finds a way to cope but it's not something that is beneficial or healthy and ultimately does more damage than helps. It's so tough. Is marajuana use a hard no/boundary for you? Like a deal breaker? It might be the way to start in seeing how u feel about this but if its a deal breaker, this might be your way out or at least a boundary set that it can't happen or you will need to leave. Just a thought but I don't know ur own...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD and drug use
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by: exhausted58 -
I’m exhausted. Anything I bring to my fiancé that bothers me, he responds immediately with justification, denial, anger and turns it back on me. To keep peace I have to ignore what he does that hurts me. He tells me “I don’t know why you want to argue”. I’m sure he’s adhd. He says he hates labels. He undiagnosed and unmedicated. If we marry I’ll be his 7th wife. I’m exhausted.>>> on Forum topic - How do you deal with the constant disappointment?
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by: c ur self -
I hear you Jenna...I like sickandtired also fought fire w/fire, many times, but to no avail....The love we give our spouses and family never loses it's value...Because it's not weakened by whether it's returned or not...Pure love is eternal...Love never fails...>>> on Forum topic - I wish I woulda________.
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by: c ur self -
Pursuing a spouse who only chooses themselves will destroy you mentally, emotionally and will take it's toll on your health...ADD/ADHD gets a very bad rap when it comes to adult men and women who live self centered...They aren't blind to their choices...Wishing you all the best... c>>> on Forum topic - It doesn’t seem she even likes me.
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by: c ur self -
Boundaries in a marriage signify the absence of something when it comes to the reality of each others lived out lives...When we as individuals use our own thinking to determine what must go on between us, (two different sets of demands) there will always be a need for boundaries because (even if love is present between us) it's very unlikely that agreement will occur...It's just the human factor... c>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: adhd32 -
You are their pawn because conflict gives them a rush. It doesn't matter if it's a spouse, a cashier, a waiter, a police officer. Often times a spouse is ignored until ADDer comes looking for conflict and a rush. Stop giving her the fight she is looking for. Beyond that there isn't much hope that things will change unless she is willingly engaged in improving the relationship. The gaslighting makes the non spouse feel unwanted and undesirable, as you know. One minute you are the best and an hour...>>> on Forum topic - It doesn’t seem she even likes me.
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by: adhd32 -
You know you already know the answer. Don't drown trying to save someone unwilling to save themselves.>>> on Forum topic - Is this the end of a marriage?
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by: NInn -
Your husband likely has schizo-effective depressive disorder. Disclaimer-I'm not a therapist or a shrink. I've lived with a man exactly like your husband. He broke my son's neck in a drunken rage. He destroyed numerous homes. He assaulted me. He molested his niece. He drank up every dime he ever made, trying to self medicate. His impulse control is non existent. The only reason he's safe for me to be around now is that he got sober and it caused multiple mini strokes, which caused dementia. ...>>> on Forum topic - Emptied our checking account AGAIN!
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by: Off the roller ... -
Hey I hear you and feel your pain. I'm in it too. It sounds so hard, isn't it? And exhasting. And sad, if I'm really being honest. It feels so so so sad. They just can't see the pain and havoc their actions have caused and its at our expense. We haven't been to couselling but im on the cusp of saying "I'm done" and just letting the chips fall as they may. I believe I will feel free and like I jumped off a cliff but I know I won't die...but to actually take that leap is so so so hard. I appreciate u...>>> on Forum topic - It doesn’t seem she even likes me.
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by: honestly -
who would, when I was struggling with his behaviour, say ‘well there’s all sorts of things I could say about you, but I choose not to; I’m better than that.’ and I’d be ‘like what? what do I do?’ and he’d shake his head and be all superior and refuse to say, OR he’d dredge up something from 25 years ago, which had not actually been something I’d done, but had been someone else that I’d mentioned to him. He’s got nothing but his own need to feel blameless.>>> on Forum topic - ADD inability of communicating boundaries
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by: Swedish coast -
Yes, I recognize this behavior from somebody close to me. It comes across as possibly jealous and definitely as a lack of generosity. But like you, I think it’s just the way Art’s wired. How happy we’d all be if we could not be hurt by this kind of thing. Good for you being able to keep it from stirring up emotions.>>> on Forum topic - The Little Lights aren't Twinkling Clark
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by: So.Lu67 -
Great job thanks all for sharing this as very important for other couples>>> on Forum topic - Feel like my husband is financially ruining me.
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by: J -
Everyone else says the usual things that people say in these situations, except for Art. I think Art, just has a really difficult time saying anything nice, as it may actually bring him closer to Clark. Clark opens the door, first calling him Art...but then, calling him dad. The door is wide open, but Art just can't walk through it. Instead, he critiques Clark's work, and points out what's wrong instead of what's right. But I also don't think that's why Art can't say something nice. I think he'...>>> on Forum topic - The Little Lights aren't Twinkling Clark
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