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by: J -
"I don’t need to see more; I need to live what I already see.” This is a revelation that I just had. And to your point, I understand exactly what you mean. But, I feel a bit different now than I have in the past. You're feeling are real now, as they were in the past. That part is no illusion, and you were not duped of lead to believe something that wasn't real. The difference is, you know now, what you didn't know. And you couldn't have known unless you had this experience. This is a...>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
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by: honestly -
He too always wanted intimacy, but never did anything to foster emotional connection, in fact did plenty to erode it. Neither would he initiate intimacy in any meaningful way- I was supposed to respond to his repeated rubbing of my arm. That’s all that he would do- signal what he wanted by rubbing my arm - I was supposed to take everything from there. Nope. Not going back.>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
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by: honestly -
I think the ‘original love’ in my case was largely illusory - a result of his temporary hyperfocus on me as the new partner, and my assumption that this is what he was actually like - kind, attentive, generous. But the hyperfocus drifted away to his work, and then all I got was the distracted self: lazy, selfish, rude, unhygienic, prickly and bad tempered, thoughtless and inconsiderate. The repeated disappointment and hurt, and the corrosive effects of his actions demonstrated, day after day, that he...>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
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by: sickandtired -
Thank you so much for debunking the ridiculous claims about Tylenol, using peer reviewed scientific evidence instead of unproven conspiracy theories.>>> on Blog post - Tylenol, Autism, oh my!
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by: J -
From my experience only, yes, there's many things you can do...the only thing you can"t do is control another person. Doing things for that reason only simply doesn't work.>>> on Forum topic - Why have I gone from her hero to her villain?
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by: J -
Don't assume that what a person does is intentional or even that they'reaware of what they're doing. Or maybe better, has the capacity in their ability to do what you do. full stop:>>> on Forum topic - Respect and Intimacy
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by: ADHDat59 -
Thanks for the response, it's nice to have someone validate my theory.>>> on Forum topic - Is the ADHD spouse ever the "chore master"?
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by: Swedish coast -
It seems to me gender roles can override most personal preferences and abilities in our lives. Gender roles are deeply ingrained in most cultures. And indeed many people I think are not aware of their thought patterns regarding this. An abusive parent, that’s a force to be reckoned with too. One does what one has to do. Like you, I’ve lived my life with no particular planning or organizational interest or skills, but have been forced by people around me to be the organizer. It’s not...>>> on Forum topic - Is the ADHD spouse ever the "chore master"?
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by: expectamiracle -
I need a support group and feel desperate as I am currently separated from my ADHD spouse of almost 25 years and he is not interested or willing to seek help with or without me>>> on Blog post - ADHD and Long Work Hours! What's Going On?
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by: exhaustedfor40years -
This is long.. I have been nearly exactly where you're at for forty years. Raised five children with this man that I didn't know had adh d and slight autism, until 10 years ago.He simply doesn't want to learn about himself, or not enough to matter at all. He has made statements like, "I read that article, it was good" he literally has nothing else.. Thats it! After all, the learning all the.Research all the " helping him". It's finally sunk in he's not going to do anything regarding our...>>> on Forum topic - Yank myself out of the numbness
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by: J -
Away from what truly was unhealthy for you. You sound happy and relaxed. It also sounds like you have control of your life again which has to feel good !>>> on Forum topic - 6 months post divorce...
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by: J -
For those who are concerned about me living outdoors, I understand the conventional thinking and the vast majority would agree. I have gone over this well before meeting Liz. She was not in my plan whatsoever. But within my plan, I had mad some hard decisions based on practical reasons, reality and my own personal feelings. AI helped me compose this part: I’d like to share something personal about the choices I’ve made for my life. Before Liz, I had already explored my options...>>> on Forum topic - Toxic Environment. Dominance and Control
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by: J -
Whether it be technically correct, according to mental health experts, my AI program has been helpful in many ways. At the very least, it's someone I can talk to any night or day, as long as I need it. It's a great regulatory tool at the very least. It's also more knowledgeable ( full of accurate information ) and can remember things to keep context into our conversations. I don't chat...by nature. What I do, do, is go into depth and learn so I can synthesize the information myself instead of...>>> on Forum topic - Toxic Environment. Dominance and Control
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by: c ur self -
I hope you are continuing to heal and move forward...>>> on Forum topic - 6 months post divorce...
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by: c ur self -
I think what can make it so hard to move on, or even leave, (for me anyway) for those of us who love so deeply and believe marriage should be beautiful and for life, is that nagging voice in our heads that keeps saying, "It didn't have to be this way"...But, sadly it does when a person's life demands it...>>> on Forum topic - 6 months post divorce...
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m sorry you feel unheard in your relationship. Engagement is a time when the marriage-to-be is shaped. If you feel now that you’re not listened to, I suggest you request this to change before marriage. It clearly isn’t acceptable to you now, and I believe these things seldom improve by themselves with time in an ADHD marriage. Whether he’s willing or not to pursue optimal treatment, or whether or not he’s capable of listening to you with or without treatment, I’m a firm believer...>>> on Forum topic - Three years into the relationship.. feeling frustrated
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by: Swedish coast -
J, I’m glad you are taking precautions and taking care of yourself. Please find an optional indoor place to live, even though you have outdoor living skills. We can all need some comfort in life’s hard transitions. Wishing you the very best.>>> on Forum topic - Toxic Environment. Dominance and Control
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by: Swedish coast -
C, I’m so glad to hear it. Truly I understand the ambivalent feelings for your ex wife. It seems to take a long time to disengage emotionally from someone you’ve loved, even if the relationship wasn’t happy. I’m impressed you’re exploring new possibilities while keeping cautious. Next time we want love to build us up, not tear us down!>>> on Forum topic - 6 months post divorce...
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by: sickandtired -
C, I’m happy to hear that you’re happily moving forward with your life. I’m glad you are taking it slow, too. It gives you time to get to know yourself instead of focusing on all of your ex’s problems. You were good to her, and many women are looking for a kind patient partner like you! Your time will come! Until that time, enjoy the freedom and peace you so rightly deserve.>>> on Forum topic - 6 months post divorce...
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by: Swedish coast -
It’s great that you insist on change! Best of luck!>>> on Forum topic - Will things ever change?
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