Recent Comments

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 2 weeks 2 days ago
    im sorry about that 
    >>> on Forum topic - His perception is inaccurate and he accuses me of feeling ways I don't

  • by: jenna-ADD - 2 weeks 2 days ago
    For the person who was curious and wanted an update to my original story:  I found out about three months after the post, that he had impregnated someone else. After all my bending over backwards trying to understand and accommodate his ADHD, that's how it all ended. I did hurt for years afterward, but in the immediate aftermath, i cut off all ties and blocked him on everything. Cold turkey. It hurt like hell, but I just felt like this was the best course of action. (Then I had forgotten to block his dad...
    >>> on Forum topic - His perception is inaccurate and he accuses me of feeling ways I don't

  • by: c ur self - 2 weeks 2 days ago
    I'm efficient and responsible (first) a worker, my wife is the good time fun girl (first, and most all the time, lol), the typical thrill seeker, w/ high level add (Thinks a lot like a spoiled child, and wants her way). But, I also love my wife, love to show it, and am very male :)....So when boundaries had to become a way of life for me to help put an end to all the dysfunction and conflict, she turned to using her vagina as a bargaining tool to get her way...She would say things like, "You can forget...
    >>> on Forum topic - What is a boundary?

  • by: MATTHD - 2 weeks 2 days ago
    Great post. agreed.  what do you mean she used sex to manipulate you? And how did you put an end to it? 
    >>> on Forum topic - What is a boundary?

  • by: Mizeeyore - 2 weeks 3 days ago
    And this is exactly why I give up.  I cannot and will not be heard, but he's entitled to say whatever he wants and I am expected and required to understand him, and return a smile, no matter what. I admire dogs for their limitless patience and loyalty, but I'm not going to be able to maintain it.  That's why dogs have short lifespans. But trying to say this to be understood  is pointless too. If setting an appointment for togetherness works for people in this situation, then it's a choice that he's able...
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: c ur self - 2 weeks 5 days ago
    My boundaries aren't mutual....They are set by me, on me....When you separate finance's....That ends it!.....He can't touch anything that is your's...Nor you his....But, I understand completely if you feel he will bully you into giving in to his irresponsible financial habits, if you are present....Some times separating is the only way.... c
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 2 weeks 5 days ago
    Boundaries are great as long as both parties adhere to them. Past discussions on budgeting and financing are to no avail in our household.  It appears that to obtain the security that I need for peace of mind that I may be forced into a legal separation that I do not necessarily want. If I tried to split the common bills in our household, husband would come up with reason why he could not pay (i.e., clients could not pay me and I NEED these books right now).  Husband's concept of budget is no budget at all...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: c ur self - 2 weeks 5 days ago
    I agree w/ Melody...This guy will only bring great sorrow...He's a user, and you typed about 100 reason's to run... Bless you! c
    >>> on Forum topic - Is that it

  • by: c ur self - 2 weeks 5 days ago
    It's not a good situation when your spouse is someone you can't trust...Same here...So I had to ask myself; what needs to happen to limit the sharing, where there is no trust, and huge difference's in responsibility level? The only answer I could come up with is part ways, or set boundaries....My wife and I do not share finance's, we do our taxes married filing separate...We have no access to each others accounts...Among other boundaries that just make for accountability. Boundaries really help us limit...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 2 weeks 5 days ago
    It appears all that an attorney wishes to do is a post nuptial agreement-- what if you do not want a divorce, just a bit of financial stability?  I can have my husband agree to something when we have a discussion, but then he does whatever he thinks is best since his business needs it in his mind--my needs are second to business. Maybe that says it all. Another attorney recommended speaking to our financial planner.  What if we make a plan and agreement but my husband does not follow through? I am in a...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 2 weeks 5 days ago
    Fortunately it is not dementia.  I have now had experience with 3 of our 4 parents being affected by various forms of dementia so have had more education on the subject than I should. My husband really can go from 0 to 100 in anger but is usually due to something I say or do. No conflict if I do not challenge his ideas.  Am now getting referral to another lawyer so am making appointment by tomorrow! October 8 - I have contacted 2 attorneys from the referral so hope to speak to someone soon. Does anyone...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 2 weeks 6 days ago
    Fortunately it is not dementia.  I have now had experience with 3 of our 4 parents being affected by various forms of dementia so have had more education on the subject than I should. My husband really can go from 0 to 100 in anger but is usually due to something I say or do. No conflict if I do not challenge his ideas.  Am now getting referral to another lawyer so am making appointment by tomorrow!
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: c ur self - 2 weeks 6 days ago
    Many people live lives of selfishness, (all about me) have no convictions not to use others, will say anything (Lie) to get what they want (money, company, sex)...Chalk it up to a painful growth opportunity, and the lesson it is, about the reality of the carnal human heart and mind.... Be thankful the young lady warned you.... c 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: c ur self - 2 weeks 6 days ago
    No matter what it is, you will need to face the reality of the circumstances...You can't be expected to walk around in your own house like a mouse on egg shells...It really sounds dangerous....Many of us may say, and truly want to work on ourselves....But the facts of out of control emotions, will always override what we want....Please take care of yourself....When a person can continue in their unhealthy life style (anger, lashing out, etc) with no real price to pay...(being left alone, etc.) they really...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: PoisonIvy - 3 weeks 8 hours ago
    Keep us posted. I admire your strength and determination.
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: lostcherry - 3 weeks 13 hours ago
    I'm so sorry. This process is neither easy nor linear. I'm just sorry we are all brought here under such circumstances 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: lostcherry - 3 weeks 13 hours ago
    I'm so sorry, my ex narcissistic husband tried this, but all those close to both of us had seen it play out in front of them and saw how he was spiraling. Though again with that, he was there. He gave reasons, however inconsistent, there'd been a build up.    with this one, all I can do is try and puzzle piece. The logical part of my brain tells me not to, but I can't help it. The last we spoke we made plans, he said how much he missed me, the last time we saw each other his body language and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 3 weeks 16 hours ago
    My heart goes out to you and what you are going through. What you wrote makes perfect sense to me. I was married for 17 years to a verbally/emotionally abusive man. He didn't have ADHD. I wrote him a letter, expressing feelings then I had bottled up for over a decade. I gave it to him, he read it, and still didn't get it. Didn't get why I was leaving. Didn't get how years of abuse had worn me down, wrecking my self-esteem and causing me to isolate from the people who could have helped me.  It felt good...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: lostcherry - 3 weeks 20 hours ago
    Thank you. Yes I think a letter would be a good idea. Though it might take all of my willpower not to send him a copy. But to what purpose I know. He's already decided to make me the bad guy. He must have spread the word as now all family members have blocked me to.    im so grateful for the support and understanding here. I hate that we all have a shared experience of this treatment, or various other types of abuse. I feel like after my previous abuse (marriage to a narcissist, physically abussive...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 3 weeks 21 hours ago
    Thank you for your comments and support. I have made an appointment with a lawyer for this Thursday to discuss options. I even had a very calm discussion with my husband about what may be available to him. He was shocked at how analytical I was -- apparently he has somehow forgotten just how determined I can be when I set my mind to something. It did just "click" yesterday that he is not going to change -- he is satisfied with the way things have proceeded, he has money through the household to support his...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

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