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by: scoobydo -
He is suggesting i accompany him to his new church which i feel strongly is even more pressure on the relationship because we will be accountable to a whole new group of people. Maybe im just too weak, too insecure and too fearful of a woman. I understand that wives need to respect their husbands but I need to feel some semblance of security in this relationship. Attending a new church and having the love and spiritual support is a good thing but its not going to change the fact that he still has...>>> on Forum topic - Adhd and bipolar
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m so sorry. It sounds like he has a really bad case of whatever it is. You clearly suffer. And no, his mother would probably fiercely deny there’s anything wrong with her golden boy. And his colleagues are probably clueless about his rejection sensitivity dysphoria, even if they are all qualified mental health professionals, because with them he’s always been kind, charming and respectful. As a non partner, you probably can’t expect anyone who knows him to verify your experience...>>> on Forum topic - Support for person on receiving end of RSD/DESR
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by: Resigned2B -
Guilt IS productive. It is a gift to help us change and lead our lives in a better direction. It is shame not productive. Shame paralyzes you. Many churches offer professional group therapy for men and/or women who cannot leave behind the dopamine hit that porn addicts you. Make no mistake, it is an addiction. And even the best people can rewire their brain using porn, and it only takes two weeks to officially be an addict. Once you are an addict, you remain an addict. It is always a...>>> on Blog post - 9 Reasons Porn Hurts
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by: Resigned2B -
Do chronic liars get a dopamine hit? “Yes, chronic liars can experience a dopamine release when they lie, as the thrill of deception may create a temporary sense of euphoria or satisfaction. This connection is linked to the brain's reward system, which reinforces behaviors that are perceived as rewarding.” ~AI Assist This is exactly what porn users get. If all sex with your significant other means is to get a temporary dopamine hit from your “distracted brain” regardless of the betrayal...>>> on Blog post - 9 Reasons Porn Hurts
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by: Regina-Lucy -
So tired...>>> on Forum topic - Support for person on receiving end of RSD/DESR
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by: jeanabeana01 -
Thank you for the read, I do feel this way. I’m having a hard time recovering from catching him. And I know he’s lying, he’s still doing it. I saw a deleted photo that told me everything I needed to know. What really upsets me the most is when I first said something about it his response was sometimes it’s just more convenient because he never knew if I was in the mood or not. I was on a birth control shot and was always bleeding and he said when he started using the porn but now I’m sex drive is back...>>> on Blog post - 9 Reasons Porn Hurts
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by: honestly -
There's a lot of ADHD positivity out there - a quick google will reveal a bunch of websites and books - might be worth a look. That said, if you were a friend and had had 30 years of 'nothing but' rage, I would not be recommending reading - I'd be helping you make a plan to leave. My ADHDer ex said he never felt angry, that I was the angry one; but he often manifested anger and was very critical of me. He maintained, ironically, that I was critical. And relentlessly negative. And cruel....>>> on Forum topic - I have ADHD
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by: Swedish coast -
Sorry you feel questioned and perhaps abused. Neurotypical people seem to come with neurotypical expectations. They will feel let down and used when their expectations are not met. Since they (if they’re decent) hold themselves to the same standards they ask of others, they can’t see any acceptable reason they should be disappointed all the time. The best suggestion I have would be to get out of a relationship where there are neurotypical expectations you can’t meet. There may be a...>>> on Forum topic - I have ADHD
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by: jennalemone -
You wrote that well. I seem to have gone through very similar back and forth with my ADD husband. It's very familiar to me. My H died last year and I am still trying to sort things out what it was from a clearer perspective. How SHOULD someone respond when the one person who you counted on to love you, hurts you and ignores you? I don't have it worked out completely but just lately I have come to understand and accept how it was with me. I was brought up too look to the Bible for how to be in...>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: Tigerslair -
Thank you for your words It’s the loneliness and realisation that I hoped one day it would get better I am grieving for what will never be I appreciate your wisdom and I feel less alone>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: Swedish coast -
I’ve had a lot of this too during a couple of decades, then divorced. The thing about severe ADD (in my partner’s case) is the person is not aware of their impact. They can be magnificently destructive. They can hurt you immensely. They manipulate facts to avoid shame. Still they act like nothing happened and are puzzled you’re still trying to scrape up the remains of your emotional self, weeks later. They’ve forgotten the hurtful words they said or the intensity of their rage. They don’t...>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: Swedish coast -
Sorry about this. Might this be one of those times when our senses tell us a relationship will be full of disappointment, but our longing for love pulls us towards it anyway? Having lived 20 years and having 3 children with a severe ADD partner whom I eventually had to divorce, I’d suggest looking carefully at the abilities your ex fiancé shows at this point. Chances are abilities will not improve with time. On the contrary, they might slide even more. If you marry, your partner might...>>> on Forum topic - Adhd and bipolar
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by: joji -
I feel vindicated by these comments. I KNEW it was not "all in my head.">>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: joji -
It also does not help that my father is 100% like this as well.>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: Tigerslair -
What do I do>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: Tigerslair -
Please is anyone going through the same thing It’s so lonely>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: J -
Hi justme113, After reading what you said, I can feel the frustration and weight you're carrying with you in terms of feeling abused. You say you cannot express it because we're considered bad, wrong and shameful. This is safe place to express what you're feeling. I also have ADHD and would be interested to know in what ways you feel like we ( people with ADHD ) and yourself are being abused. Not that I haven't felt that way at times, but it's good to share this with others so they know...>>> on Forum topic - I have ADHD
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by: J -
As I've had to let go of friends from my past for similar reasons. At one point in time, I told myself: "if you want to be my friend, you'll need to abide by a few basic rule". As I was always eager to accept any friend who'd want me as a friend, I'd find that a few, behaved in ways the were unacceptable to me. I myself, have used that same criteria to access myself and say, "I'm not being a good friend. I'm not following my only rules and reciprocating as I believe I should." In both cases, I've...>>> on Forum topic - Cassandra Syndrome?
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by: Swedish coast -
J, this you describe I can really relate to. I have an old friend who does what your SO does. It’s gut wrenchingly painful to be subjected to it! For me this doesn’t need to have anything to do with ADHD. However, an avoidant person can really make you suffer. I realized I can’t spend any more time with this person while trying to repair my tender heart after ADD divorce.>>> on Forum topic - Cassandra Syndrome?
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by: J -
And timely. I had to look it up too, which means I have no professional experience or knowledge about this specifically. I recently read an uncanny description of a person with an avoident attachment style. I read these from time to time as a way to keep me grounded. Is it me, or is it my partner? The answer is of course is both. In the summation however, it said something like ( paraphrasing off tge top of my head ): " Being in a relationship with an avoidan personality isn't easy, they...>>> on Forum topic - Cassandra Syndrome?
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