Recent Comments

  • by: sickandtired - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    You don’t have the right to minimize any person’s pain when they are seeking support in an obviously difficult relationship. My adhd ex used to do this to me all of the time... minimizing my feelings, and shaming me for being honest. Nobody deserves this kind of verbal abuse.  Sambam, you need to stop and think about other people’s feelings before you post. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    are you serious right now you can leave right now with that abliest reponse adhd can choose to be neurotypical if they want to like wtf is that kind of response.
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    yes people with adhd can change with specifc treatment and adhd doesnt prevent or ruin a marriage connectiction.
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    yes people with adhd can change with specifc treatment and adhd doesnt prevent or ruin a marriage connectiction.
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: Mizeeyore - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    And it's not worth the fight.  None of this shit is optional.  They can behave and be almost neurotypical when they want to be.  Accept that they don't want to bother anymore by accepting the excuse of the day, whatever their ADHD or ADD brought them (tired, can't focus, hyper focus, RSD, whatever), it brought you too.  Accept that it looks selfish and sociopathic and narcissistic at times, and they expect you to accept that without comment too.  Accept that it is what it is.  One choice, take it or leave...
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: Mizeeyore - 3 weeks 2 days ago
    Believe him.  When someone tells you who they are, that's your only choice. 
    >>> on Forum topic - New diagnosis and he wants to leave

  • by: 1Melody1 - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    As a feminist and human being, I have a really hard time with the message we often receive that we must tip-toe ever so carefully with our words to ensure the other party is happy. Especially when we are already kind and considerate people in the first place. The ever-constant adjustments to tone and topic and timing can be exhausting and because we aren't in charge of the feelings of others, no matter what we do to try to spare their feelings or egos, it can still easily not be enough. And I personally...
    >>> on Forum topic - Listening and communications skills

  • by: Range_Rover_17 - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    Are you still with your husband? I'm the one googling "10 things to do before getting a divorce" these days. Are your strategies still helping?
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Range_Rover_17 - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    It sounds like your wife had other issues besides ADHD. I hope/am glad your'e doing better.
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Range_Rover_17 - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    Just reading your (old) post and I hope you were able to get help. Are you still with this man?
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Range_Rover_17 - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    Just commenting that I'm sorry you're going through this. My significant other often misinterprets what I say and takes things personally when they are just general comments about topics outside of us. I don't know how to resolve it, it's been going on for years. I don't feel seen or understood. I just want to leave him at this point. It's very depressing.
    >>> on Forum topic - His perception is inaccurate and he accuses me of feeling ways I don't

  • by: Range_Rover_17 - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    Just checking in on this (old) comment to see how or whether it's been resolved? I have the same issue with my S.O. and it seems like the only resolution is divorce at this point. I feel like I'm talking to a stranger.
    >>> on Forum topic - His perception is inaccurate and he accuses me of feeling ways I don't

  • by: Mizeeyore - 3 weeks 5 days ago
    This isn't a partnership or a marriage, it's friends with benefits as long as I show up in silence.  Turned the tv back on last night and his only comment was to that I must have missed the music.  Yeah.  What it is is that I don't care anymore if he's distracted or not. I hope he is, that way I can disappear.  I can't care anymore.  It's killing me, watching all hope die, but I will be better off without hope and continual disappointment.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 3 weeks 5 days ago
    Was he looking to be treated 
    >>> on Forum topic - New here. Need some advice please

  • by: Range_Rover_17 - 3 weeks 5 days ago
    Sorry you are going through this, especially with both parents being unwell. Ignore your spouse for now. Maybe hold off on the PhD until things with your parents clear up? And look into the possibility of splitting up. That's what I'm considering now and my life isn't half as stressful as yours. I just don't see myself doing this (dealing with denial and poor communication and no intimacy) for another 15+ years.
    >>> on Forum topic - I'm Pissed

  • by: Range_Rover_17 - 3 weeks 5 days ago
    This is great information and very helpful. Currently considering divorcing my ADHD SO after years of our relationship becoming more and more dysfunctional. Realizing I can't control most of what's going on and the best thing would be to just take care of myself at this point. He is in denial.
    >>> on Forum topic - New here. Need some advice please

  • by: c ur self - 3 weeks 5 days ago
    My boundaries, and acceptance of all the things you have listed mizeeyore, has led me to not expect it to be any different, and that eventually has allowed me to pursue MY OWN GIFT OF LIFE....I know I can't force her to be the partner she vowed to be, to recognize that I am human also, and I have needs, emotions, hurts, and pains too...But, by accepting she don't want to hear it, or has no empathy for it....I don't consider her a source for that kind of comfort.... That may sound like a sad case to call a...
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: c ur self - 3 weeks 5 days ago
    I agree that one reason for boundaries is self protection...But, they are much more in a marital setting...They should be viewed as protection for both parties...One of the most damaging things to any marriage is raised emotions, and verbal battles...None of it can be taken back, and it can take years to move past....If I (or you, or anyone) am so un-accepting of my spouse's way of living, that I am constantly barking, preaching, and pointing out all her flaws, then there is no hope for us....I will be an...
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: Ess - 3 weeks 6 days ago
    Thank you. He is seeing his psychiatrist today and we start couples therapy tomorrow.  I'm sure we have enough of the good stuff going in our favour that we can be happy again and spare ourselves and our children so much heartache. But he doesn't see it. Thank you for your kind thoughts 
    >>> on Forum topic - New diagnosis and he wants to leave

  • by: Mizeeyore - 3 weeks 6 days ago
    Actually, the answer is to not care either.  If I don't want to feel like a fool, my best bet is not to be one. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

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