Recent Comments
- by: 1Melody1 - You will be so happy you did. He is making you sick and miserable. Ask yourself if this is the type of relationship you'd want for your kids when they're grown. It's just as wrong for you. You're just as important. I know you wanted the family intact, but what they are seeing here is total dysfunction, not a healthy family They need you. Single you will be stronger and a better mom because he won't be drowning you financially and emotionally. You deserve so much better than this and if your kids could...>>> on Forum topic - Should I just walk away???
- by: Mystical1 - I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I'm not sure if he is "withholding sex". It seems to me that he has told you that he is no longer attracted to you because there are things that he sees as issues in your relationship. From your post it appears that your ADHD symptoms may be getting in the way of him seeing you in a loving light. It also sounds like there need to be changes made in what tasks you perform and the ones that he takes care of. You probably need to sit down and have a chat about who...>>> on Forum topic - Withholding sex/no longer attracted to me
- by: sickandtired - I lived with a guy very much like this for over 10 years and I’m so glad I left him. He was like a kept man, and never would go out and find a job. He denied he had a problem, and would not go to therapy as I had insisted. Your guy cheated on you and lied to you, and he seems VERY selfish. Things won’t get better with him unless he puts some effort into bettering himself. You know you can’t fix him. My guy was horrible with money too, and wasted a lot of my money on useless things for himself. If you are...>>> on Forum topic - Should I just walk away???
- by: jayjay - No, he is refusing treatment because he doesn't believe his ADD affects him besides concentration issues. He thinks the rest of his life issues is the fault of others not him. I don't k kw how to get him to come out of this denial, we are in the process of divorce because he has very low tolerance to any issues in the marriage.>>> on Forum topic - Hi
- by: sickandtired - Funny how he remembers things twisted in such a way that he is the victim huh? I’m sure if you actually did anything like that you would remember. Don’t let him gaslight you into doubting yourself.>>> on Forum topic - Hi
- by: SamBamiteko_ - Oh yeah I am looking at myself am trying to learn to get out this website and i know i have a problem but Im not going to let people generalize a condition I have>>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband
- by: SamBamiteko_ - is he getting treatment>>> on Forum topic - Hi
- by: honeybee14 - My husband has ADHD and he too wants to have sex 3 times a week or more. He complains to me he wants me to try harder, invest more time in connecting and initiate sex. He will initiate daily because he says it increases the chances I'll say yes...... what crazy logic is that?! How romantic? What a way to feel important!! He doesn't seem to understand his impulsive sexual nature is likely a symptom of his ADHD and the exact reason I don't want to have sex with him( or anyone )in the first place. His...>>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband
- by: tiredofbeinghis... - I tried writing it down, sending a text or email that he could digest a little at a time, even leaving VM's on his phone so he could listen without having to immediately respond. He throws notes away unread, refuses to open texts or emails, and deletes VMs. The only thing that gets his attention is me not being available when he needs something. LOL. He has admitted that my absences are a “relief” for him because he becomes quickly overwhelmed by my need to communicate and do things together.>>> on Forum topic - Has anyone tried "married and living apart"?
- by: JustVisiting - Thank you for sharing. Alone time has also been important in my years of marriage experience, too. It seemed like it was helpful for him (ADHD spouse) as well. Since this was my first and only marriage, I don't have a non-ADHD marriage to compare it with, but after the honeymoon ended, emotional availability was not something I experienced from him every again. I don't think he was able to access that part of himself during the relationship. I don't think it was intentional. I could be wrong, but I would...>>> on Forum topic - Has anyone tried "married and living apart"?
- by: JustVisiting - It was just us. If there were children, I can't even imagine how much more complex and difficult this situation would be. Thank you for sharing. Recognition and commitment are problematic for us as a two-way street. He accepts his diagnosis, and that's it. When there are outbursts, etc., he is not able to connect it to his ADHD. Not verbally or outwardly, anyway. Maybe there is recognition inside him. I don't know. I may never know. The emotional labor of the non-ADHD spouse is immense, and I often wished...>>> on Forum topic - Has anyone tried "married and living apart"?
- by: JustVisiting - I understand. My dream used to be us getting help, and now my dream is just peace and no more conflict. Living apart was not financially do-able for most of our marriage. One thing that worked for a while was him containing his collections (he doesn't throw things away) and hobby things to the spare bedroom, which we were fortunate to even have, truly. In retrospect, I feel like I tried many different things because I did not want to regret not having done my best.>>> on Forum topic - Has anyone tried "married and living apart"?
- by: tiredofbeinghis... - I used to travel for work and considered those days in a hotel a respite from the chaos and a way to recharge. Now that I am not traveling any more, I make sure I get periodic alone time at our vacation home. I know I am very lucky to have that option and appreciate it every day. Without those breaks, I'm pretty sure I would not still be in the marriage, but admit that it doesn't solve the loneliness and emotional neglect that comes with being in a relationship with someone who is unable to connect. It's...>>> on Forum topic - Has anyone tried "married and living apart"?
- by: Beyondwitsend - One of the aspects you should consider is whether you have kids, and if you do decide to live apart (but married), what kind of message that sends to your kids and what example of marriage you're providing them. For me, I'm not keen on setting an example of a completely dysfunctional marriage (I can't even call it a marriage--just a legal document at this point) for my kids. It makes me sad that they have no idea what it feels like to live with parents who have a healthy marriage or even a normal family...>>> on Forum topic - Has anyone tried "married and living apart"?
- by: JustVisiting - Thank you, c. Your calmness and perspective has helped me so much these past few days as I wrestle with this issue. My takeaways from your insight are that everything changes, this too shall pass, impermanence is the nature of everything (including my situation), and I can be at peace in the eye of the storm. There is no rush. I'm not in danger, thank God. Even if my husband and I separate, God's love will still stay with me. You really helped me remember to have compassion for the brain function of a...>>> on Forum topic - Has anyone tried "married and living apart"?
- by: 0shaolin7 - Thank you for the comment! there are plenty of differences between me and my boyfriend but we also have plenty tings in common so I don't really care the differences :) And I believe there's no such "normal". He just shows me the world I never knew so it's just fun to stay with him. We've only been together for half year but hope I could know about him more and more. Anyway thank you for your comment, I appreciate you :)>>> on Forum topic - How to be precise about this disorder?
- by: kristina - This is my dream. We are opposites about "things". I crave order and completion.>>> on Forum topic - Has anyone tried "married and living apart"?
- by: c ur self - Something to think about....From my experience many adhd minded people want to be accepted like they are....(Not really look at it as a disorder)....This usually causes some uncomfortable moments when they are in a relationship with a person who does not have adhd....IF you consider the top 8 or 10 common behaviors, (easy to find on the web) that are just part of daily life for a fast minded person, then consider how you manage a day, it becomes clear the difference's.... Just remember, what he calls...>>> on Forum topic - How to be precise about this disorder?
- by: c ur self - Just want to share this....The reason you and I, and so many more struggle so badly in our emotions, is because in our hearts, we know that much of those lost blank stares we get in return from our pleas, are coming from a mind that isn't capable of much of anything else...So I will just leave you with this, be at peace with what ever you do (nothing are no one can hinder God's love for you) try to not think of you actions as permanent, (even though they may end up being) try to leave your heart open for...>>> on Forum topic - Has anyone tried "married and living apart"?
- by: Mkarnett2001 - It's like it could've written these words myself. Especially when you talked about wanting more attention, and feeling unwanted. Your feelings are valid! I don't have an answer, except that I'm contemplating ending my relationship.>>> on Forum topic - Loneliness, lack of patience, and little to no intimacy- ADHD Wife