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I am losing respect for my spouse with ADHD. We've been married for over 8 years. He uses ignorant language like calling people or situations "Retarded" and says the F word like it is part of regular speech. It's embarassing to me even if no one is in the room but us- and I cringe when I hear him talk like this. I don't remember him talking like this when we were first together- its like it slowly came out as the years went on. Now that we have an young son, I am especially sensitive to what he says as I don't want my son to think talking like this is ok.

I posted for the first time here 6 days ago. Sorry I didn't get back to the couple of people who posted back but had a chest infection and been laid up. One reply was from someone in a relationship experiencing life with an ADHD partner,not yet with a legal commitment (i.e. marriage) and as yet no children...right or wrong my advice would be to get out now. Time and certainly children will not make things better,just a whole lot worse.

We have been talking about stuff and it seems to me that he wants me to stop being hurt and angry and be all nice to him, watch my tone, tippytoe around him etc. but he has not tried changing anything for me. He's still ignoring me when I talk to him, still emotionally shutting me out, still accusing me and flipping out at the slightest thing. I don't know why the burden of change is squarely on my shoulders as if my changing will suddenly make him change.

Is this ADHD or something else? When I speak to him, he does not respond. It's like talking to a wall. I wait and wait and wait, then I say, "did you hear me?" and maybe I will get a response, maybe not. Sometimes he will say, "yes, I heard you." and then I have to continue to squeeze communication out like the last bit of toothpaste in a tube. Our discussions are always prefaced with a preliminary period of non communication which sets up the actual conversation:

Me: Hey Bob, what's time is it?

Him: (silence no reaction.)

Me: (waits)

Him: (nothing)

I am so depressed. I don't even have to say anything to be the brunt of his anger and frustration and insults. I am called down and belittled on a daily basis. I made the mistake of falling in love with the sweet side of him. It's been five years. Fairly sure it's co dependant as well. Given up any hope of normalcy. I am 45. 46 this June. I feel used and old and stupid. I don't want to be with him anymore. When we argue and I tell him to go to live with his mother, he does but I end up feeling like I was too hard on him.

Hi,

I realize that many of the ADHD spouses have good jobs and are good providers but this is directed to those who are experiencing the same situation as I am.  I married my husband 7 years ago and he relocated to be with me.  He assured me he was in a field that he could work from just about anywhere, where as I have a client based business that I couldn't move.  Over the past 7 years he has had over 40 jobs, most of which he has quit but he has been fired from a few.  He has had some health issues and is now more limited in what kind of jobs he can accept but most of the jobs he has quit hav

I have been here on this forum a while.   A little over three years. 

This topic came up in the Slug Box and I decided to create a new topic.  As in many relationships (both ADHD-affected and not), money and finances have caused stress in my relationship.  Here are some things I've done to protect myself and my children from what I would call my spouse's financial irresponsibility (checkered employment, doesn't deposit income regularly, pays bills late, is afraid to talk about money)  Please feel free to share your techniques and comments.