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My husband of nearly 7 years has a lot of bad habits but I don't know if they're ADHD ones. A few things I need some clarity on -- are these things ADHD things or something else?

 

- Having his own sense of reality -- he does not pay bills on time and does not agree with me as to what is important in life. This can mean paying bills on time, sending greeting cards, being polite, expectations of people, laws, morality etc.

- Argues over everything; has his own opinion and MUST enforce it on you no matter what.

I'm fairly new to this site and new too ADHD world. My husband of 21 years has known all along that he had ADHD, the topic came up 8-10 years ago, and got swept under the rug, he failed one test so miserBLY, THE DR COULDNT SCORE IT... Another Dr. and he passed the test but was offered treatment anyway... He refused.... IT"S BAAAAAACK! he sees a counselor for a 2 hr appt on Wed, today is Sunday, Mothers Day and all I've done is cry all day, its snowing here which adds to the sadness.

I guess my husband decided to celebrate mothers day in a literal way. Hes been behaving like a cranky, overstimulated 3 year old in desperate need of a nap. 

I hate everything about this. I wonder what its like to have a relationship where I could have a day that is about me without having it hijacked by his crappy behavior because the attention isnt on him.

I have not been feeling well for quite some time.  I had told dh a few times I wasn't feeling well lately and went to doctor to get tests taken last week.  This Sunday morning, I said, I am not feeling well.  His response, "I wasn't feeling well either this morning.  But then I got out and starting working and I feel a lot better."  With that, he had thrown back at me, "You aren't sick. If you would work, like me, you wouldn't be sick."  Understand that I work full time.  He does not.

We have had a total breakdown of communication here.  The most seemingly benign topics can lead to a fight.  We are both extremely defensive.  I freely admit this about myself.  Everything I say is met with the opposite scenario.  No empathy for my point of view...ever.  Makes me feel unimportant and like what I think doesn't matter.  If I voice that I feel that way in any way, shape or form it leads to his rage.  Every. Single. Time.  I do not rage.  If I showed the amount of anger that he did, I can't imagine his reaction.  Maybe I should try it.

It's disheartening when you look at the truth sometimes and today was one of those days.  I've had a great deal of success with my ADHD symptoms and as far as my spouse tells me........things have improved for her as well.  The realization that is probably the hardest to look at but yet is the undeniable truth is that the things that cause her the most grief about being in a relationship with are a my ADHD symptoms.  No surprise here for anybody.

Hiya, my boyfriend has got adhd/add, I dont know what to do, I have a 9 month baby with him and I've got a 3 year old I've been going out with on and off for 2 years, He brakes promisess and lies to me I dont see him for days at A time and he wont tell me where hes gone cos he wont tell me And he will lie to me when he appears about where he has gone He say he didn't want to do it he just does it and doesnt kno why He gets obsessive with things and you can't stop him When hes nice he is nice and kind and caring but if he is in one Of his moods he is horrible he doesnt care about anyone

I don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I have had multiple issues with his ADD in the past. I have dealt with it, accepted it, been a slave to it, worked with it and around it and accommodated for it and everything in between. I have been above and beyond patient with this. He is RARELY patient and understanding with me and how his behavior affects me. To his credit, we have had occasional breakthroughs here and there where he finally admits to how he can see that his behavior makes me feel unimportant and he does apologize for it, and that's all I really want.