Weekly Marriage Tips

ADHD & Marriage News - September 1, 2026

Quote of the Week

“The key is not to prioritize your schedule but to schedule your priorities."

- Stephen Covey

 

Schedule Priorities

If you have ADHD, Covey’s comment is critically important, and very hard to pull off.  ADHD means that you often get distracted from what you are doing, that it’s hard to stay organized, and that you have trouble focusing on what’s important, vs. what feels good at that very moment.

But if you don’t schedule your priorities, as Covey suggests, you will lose track of your partner.  How many times have you heard “we just grew apart” about a couple that ended up divorcing?  Most likely, they forgot that their most important priority was each other, not their projects, chores or work.

Your partner is most likely your number one priority.  Do you have a schedule of time to ‘attend’ to each other?  If not, you need to start.  Literally.  Write things into your schedule, and stick to them!  Consider any of the following:

• Every other week date night – schedule them all (including a regular babysitter), and alternate who plans

• Saturday or Sunday afternoon couple time, during which you pledge to have an adventure or do something together you both agree you such as go for a hike and chat

• Breakfast together without the morning news or paper

• Nightly dinner sitting at a table, with no cell phones in sight

• Parents’ morning.  You both stay in bed, and kids have special permission to watch TV or play video games and eat protein bars for breakfast…as long as they don’t disturb you

• Monthly parent play dates – partner with close friends who have kids of similar ages.  Once a month one set of parents takes all the kids for 2-3 hours, freeing you up to do…whatever you wish (hopefully, fun and some sort of focusing on each other.)

And here’s one more tip – while you are scheduling each other in, don’t get too hung up on who ‘leads’ on this.  You both win when you are together, having fun, and remembering what you love about each other.  If the more organized partner has to initiate the discussion about what to do, so be it.

 Registration SpotLight: 

Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar (Starts Sept. 15)
Our flagship 9-session live Zoom program to help couples impacted by ADHD understand their relationship dynamics, improve communication, and create lasting change.
Learn More | Register Now

ADHD Partner?
New live course, Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners, (Starts September 16). Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov as they teach practical skills to build a healthier, stronger relationship. → Register Now

Seminars, Groups:

Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners (Starts Sept. 16)

Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov for our new live course designed specifically for ADHD partners to build the relationship skills for a healthier, stronger relationship.

Learn More | Register Now

Self-Study Seminar (Available Anytime)
Learn at your own pace with recordings, worksheets, and Q&A sessions from our live seminar.
Learn More | Enroll Now

Intent to Action Membership (Open Enrollment)
Ongoing expert guidance, live support, and a community to help you turn insights into lasting habits.
Learn More | Join Now

Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups (Registration Open)
Join a small Zoom group (10 participants or fewer) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll become part of a community exploring similar issues, learn from each other's successes and struggles, and find new ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

Couples Support Groups (Registration Open)
Join a small Zoom group (5 couples maximum) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll learn alongside other couples navigating similar challenges, strengthen your connection, and build the relationship skills needed to navigate tension and restore connection together.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group (Ongoing)

Work one-on-one with an ADHD expert who understands the unique challenges faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. Many participants find that combining consulting with the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar provides the greatest benefit.

Learn More | Schedule a Consultation

For Mental Health Professionals

Do you work with individuals or couples impacted by ADHD? Expand your expertise with resources created specifically for mental health professionals. Explore our professional training opportunities and affiliate program, or register for the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar and receive $50 off.

Professional Resources | MHP Seminar Registration ($50 Off)

 Free Resources:

• Weekly Marriage Tips email newsletters;
• Free Treatment E-book "How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD";
• A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;
• A large number of blog posts on various topics;
• Referrals for ADHD-Savvy Therapists;
• Chore Score Worksheet;
• Recommended Reading for Couples Impacted by Adult ADHD
• The ADHD Effect on Marriage, Huff Post's top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.

Is there hope?  This video may help you answer that question: 

• Our Team
• New Here? Is ADHDMarriage right for you?
• en Español

Register for free marriage tips here! "Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."

ADHD & Marriage News - July 20, 2026

Quote of the Week

"If you don't let go of the peripherals, you aren't going to be able to focus on the central thing."

-Barbara Sher

Focus on What Matters Most

It's easy to become laser-focused on the issue right in front of us. Maybe you want your partner to respond in a particular way, remember a specific task, or handle something exactly as you envisioned. In the moment, it can feel like this is the thing that matters most.

But with a little distance, we often realize that some of the things we thought were most important were actually peripheral. What we truly wanted wasn't necessarily for the task to be done a certain way—it was the outcome. Sometimes we become so attached to how something should happen that we lose sight of why we wanted it in the first place.

When you find yourself stuck on one specific detail, pause and ask yourself, "What outcome am I really trying to achieve? Does this detail directly affect that outcome, or is it simply the way I prefer it to be done?" Some details are essential—they protect safety, build trust, or uphold shared values. But many are simply preferences. Focusing on the deeper need rather than insisting on one specific solution creates room for flexibility, collaboration, and better problem-solving.

By letting go of the peripheral details when appropriate, you make space for what matters most in your relationship.

ADHD Partner?
Our new live course, Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners, starts September 16. Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov as they teach practical skills to build a healthier, stronger relationship. → Learn More

Non-ADHD Partner or Couple?
Registration for our Fall Support Groups opens this Wednesday at 12:00 p.m. ET. → Non-ADHD Partner Groups | → Couples Groups

Seminars, Groups:

Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar (Starts Sept. 15)
Our flagship 9-session live Zoom program to help couples impacted by ADHD understand their relationship dynamics, improve communication, and create lasting change.
Learn More | Register Now

Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners (Starts Sept. 16)

Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov for our new live course designed specifically for ADHD partners to build the relationship skills for a healthier, stronger relationship.

Learn More | Register Now

Self-Study Seminar (Available Anytime)
Learn at your own pace with recordings, worksheets, and Q&A sessions from our live seminar.
Learn More | Enroll Now

 Intent to Action Membership (Open Enrollment)
Ongoing expert guidance, live support, and a community to help you turn insights into lasting habits.
Learn More | Join Now

Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups (Registration Opens July 22 1pm ET)
Join a small Zoom group (10 participants or fewer) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll become part of a community exploring similar issues, learn from each other's successes and struggles, and find new ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

Couples Support Groups (Registration Opens July 22 1pm ET)
Join a small Zoom group (5 couples maximum) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll learn alongside other couples navigating similar challenges, strengthen your connection, and build the relationship skills needed to navigate tension and restore connection together.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group (Ongoing)

Work one-on-one with an ADHD expert who understands the unique challenges faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. Many participants find that combining consulting with the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar provides the greatest benefit.

Learn More | Schedule a Consultation

For Mental Health Professionals

Do you work with individuals or couples impacted by ADHD? Expand your expertise with resources created specifically for mental health professionals. Explore our professional training opportunities and affiliate program, or register for the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar and receive $50 off.

Professional Resources | MHP Seminar Registration ($50 Off)

 Free Resources:

• Weekly Marriage Tips email newsletters;
• Free Treatment E-book "How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD";
• A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;
• A large number of blog posts on various topics;
• Referrals for ADHD-Savvy Therapists;
• Chore Score Worksheet;
• Recommended Reading for Couples Impacted by Adult ADHD
• The ADHD Effect on Marriage, Huff Post's top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.

Is there hope?  This video may help you answer that question: 

• Our Team
• New Here? Is ADHDMarriage right for you?
• en Español

Register for free marriage tips here! "Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."

Have you heard about our newest offering – the Intent to Action Membership Program? We have a good feeling about how much you and your partner will get out of it! 

Did you attend Melissa’s seminar, and feel like you learned a lot – only to feel like it was hard to implement what you learned in your day-to-day life? Or perhaps you have read the Marriage Tips emails and felt inspired…but sometimes wish you could just ask an ADHD relationship expert your specific questions about your own relationship? Maybe you have been in a support group, and just wish you could have more opportunities to connect with other couples who know what it’s like to navigate the specific terrain of ADHD relationship dynamics.

If so….then you are the very person we had in mind when we designed this program. We want you to have abundant support, ideas and community to take action to grow your relationship into the best connection it can be.  That’s why we made sure we have live ADHD relationship experts available multiple times per week, workshops that will inspire and help you in real time, a community forum where you can come to find connection and accountability support, and a whole lot more. 

Will you join us?  You can read more and sign up here.  And/or you can sign up here for the  live Information Session on February 11th at 7:30p EST with time for your questions and our answers.

Hope you’ll consider joining us in our Intent to Action program!
Rachel Ban and Melissa Orlov