Don't Worry, Be Happy

Go to this newsletter issue on the web
ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - July 29, 2011 | |||
![]() |
Heart to Heart Tips for Thriving in your Marriage |
||
Quote of the Week | Quick Links | ||
“Don’t worry….be happy”
|
Sign up for these weekly marriage tips and other announcements related to ADHD & Marriage |
||
Don’t Worry, Be Happy |
|||
A little bit of worry can be a good thing – it can push us to get things done faster, encourage us to be prepared for trouble…and sometimes it’s just a total waste of time. I was reminded of this earlier this week when I spent a mostly sleepless night worrying about things that each of my children was supposed to be doing. I was concerned one might forget an appointment and the other wasn’t aware of the urgency of his task.
ADHD Effect on Couples – Next Seminar Starts Sept 12 The next session of my phone seminar for struggling couples in which one or both partners has ADHD starts Monday, Sept. 12. Many couples have found this course helps them jumpstart their marital recovery. For more information about the course, go to this link.
|
|||
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD | |||
![]() |
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD. Hope to hear from you there! Melissa Orlov |
![]() |
|
© 2011 Melissa Orlov |
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
![]() |
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Questions? Contact us |
Something I Really Need to Say

ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - July 22, 2011 | |||
![]() |
Heart to Heart Tips for Thriving in your Marriage |
||
Quote of the Week | Quick Links | ||
Underneath this smile -Hilary Duff |
Sign up for these weekly marriage tips and other announcements related to ADHD & Marriage |
||
Something I Really Need to Say |
|||
If you feel as if your world is caving in, the best immediate response is not to hide behind a smile, but to open up and connect with another person around your pain. |
|||
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD | |||
![]() |
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD. Hope to hear from you there! Melissa Orlov |
![]() |
|
© 2011 Melissa Orlov |
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
![]() |
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Questions? Contact us |
Drives a Woman Crazy!

ADHD & Marriage Weekly Marriage Tip - July 7, 2011 | |||
![]() |
Heart to Heart Tips for Thriving in your Marriage |
||
Quote of the Week | Quick Links | ||
“Nothing drives a woman more crazy than a man who is doing NOTHING!” -Mark Gungor |
Sign up for these weekly marriage tips and other announcements related to ADHD & Marriage |
||
Drives a Woman Crazy! |
|||
Enough has been written about the differences between men and women that few question the idea that men and women are wired differently. Scientific research supports this idea, as well. Did you know that it takes men significantly longer than women to “recover” from the physiological effects of conflict?
Just for fun, though, here is Mark Gungor's look at what makes men and women’s brains so different…I think it will make you laugh! See the video Here
|
|||
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD | |||
![]() |
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD. Hope to hear from you there! Melissa Orlov |
![]() |
|
© 2011 Melissa Orlov |
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
![]() |
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Questions? Contact us |
What You Put in Your Body

Weekly Marriage Tip - What You Put in Your Body - July 15, 2011 | |||
![]() |
Heart to Heart Tips for Thriving in your Marriage |
||
Quote of the Week | Quick Links | ||
"The most potent medication we have is also our most dangerous and abused drug. It is called food." -Ned Hallowell |
Sign up for these weekly marriage tips and other announcements related to ADHD & Marriage |
||
What You Put in Your Body |
|||
As you think about your health, do you think of food as medication? If not, you might try it for a while. I find that thinking of food as medicine helps me think carefully about the choices I make about what to put into my body.
Simplified, a chemically healthy diet for your brain includes a little lean protein at every meal; lots of vegetables and beans; few processed foods and few/no sugared drinks. It also includes 2500 - 5000 mg of fish oil a day either from oily fish (examples: sardines/salmon) or fish oil supplements.* These combine together to provide sustained energy with fewer swings in mood plus improved focus.
There’s more, of course. But just following these basic guidelines will help you start harnessing the power of one of the most powerful drugs we have. If you have ADHD, this type of diet can help you better manage your symptoms.
*If you are taking medications, please check with your doctor about taking higher doses of fish oil. |
|||
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD | |||
![]() |
MY NEXT ADHD IN-DEPTH COUPLES PHONE SEMINAR IS SCHEDULED TO BEGIN SEPTEMBER 12. FIND OUT MORE OR SIGN UP NOW AT THIS LINK! If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD. |
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
![]() |
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Questions? Contact us |
Rejoice in Small Blessings

Go to this newsletter issue on the web: !newsletter_url
ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - June 29, 2011 | |||
![]() |
Heart to Heart Tips for Thriving in your Marriage |
||
Quote of the Week | Quick Links | ||
“We can train in rejoicing in even the smallest blessings our life holds. It is easy to miss our own good fortune; often happiness comes in ways we don’t even notice. It’s like a cartoon I saw of an astonished-looking man saying, ‘What was that?’ The caption below read, ‘Bob experiences a moment of well-being.’ The ordinariness of our good fortune is hard to catch.”
|
Sign up for these weekly marriage tips and other announcements related to ADHD & Marriage |
||
Rejoice in Small Blessings |
|||
Sometimes when I describe my life with my husband to other people I think to myself ‘wow, that sounds really boring!’ We cherish our routine of getting into bed together at night, take pleasure in being in the same room even if we aren’t talking to each other, laugh and say ‘we’ve been married too long!’ when we blurt out the same words at the same time.
These are silly little things – yet they aren’t. Getting into bed together at night is a “blessing” to us both since there were years when we were too angry at each other to create that pleasure. We feel fortunate for the stability of companionable silence after so many years of the opposite.
When we first decided to turn our relationship around we weren’t in a very good place at all – pain and anger still abounded. But we made a pact to actively seek out the good – and actively create good – in our relationship. We found, as Chodron suggests, that rejoicing in small blessings (wherever they may be found) was an excellent way to gain perspective and open our hearts to the healing we both needed. |
|||
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD | |||
![]() |
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD. Hope to hear from you there! Melissa Orlov |
![]() |
|
© 2011 Melissa Orlov |
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
![]() |
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Questions? Contact us |
Interrupting Habits of Thought

Go to this newsletter issue on the web
ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - June 23, 2011 | |||
![]() |
Heart to Heart Tips for Thriving in your Marriage |
||
Quote of the Week | Quick Links | ||
“The fear habit, the anger habit, the self-pity habit – all are strengthened and empowered when we continue to buy into them. The most compassionate things we can do is to interrupt these habits.”
|
Sign up for these weekly marriage tips and other announcements related to ADHD & Marriage |
||
Interrupting Habits of Thought |
|||
American Buddhist nun Chodron argues that “habitual momentum” keeps us stuck responding in thought-less ways to our feelings and the world around us. She proposes a process by which you acknowledge “churned up” feelings then overtly interrupt them to move away from them, as it is in our best interests to do so.
How about you? Do you have specific “patterns” of negative responses in your relationship – responses you repeat over and over again? If so, then Chodron suggests doing “anything that doesn’t reinforce the crippling habits.” That might even be singing, dancing, or running around the block. (I would take it one step further – don’t just interrupt the response patterns, replace them with something more productive – she has a version of this she calls “inclining our minds to joy”.) There is little doubt that if you interrupt those habits over and over again, pretty soon you may find they are no longer habits – and you are the winner since you are no longer a “slave” to negativity. |
|||
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD | |||
![]() |
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD. Hope to hear from you there! Melissa Orlov |
![]() |
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
![]() |
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Questions? Contact us |
Social Connections

Go to this newsletter issue on the web
ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - June 15, 2011 | |||
![]() |
Heart to Heart Tips for Thriving in your Marriage |
||
Quote of the Week | Quick Links | ||
“According to the latest research, 25 percent of Americans have no intimate social connection at all, and countless others spend the bulk of them time by themselves. One recent study found that half of all American adults lack even a single close friend they can rely on.” -Experience Life Magazine, May, 2011
|
Sign up for these weekly marriage tips and other announcements related to ADHD & Marriage |
||
Social Connections | |||
While I would like to see how the research about not having even a single close friend was done before I completely believe it, the direction of this statement is nonetheless sobering. In an age of electronic connection, many of us are losing our deepest personal bonds. Since good mental health is closely tied to how connected you are, this is bad news, indeed. We all wish to be part of something “larger” than us – a community of like minded people, a group of cherished childhood friends, a cause, perhaps a religious organization, even a really good workout class. But connecting take TIME and I wonder if part of the issue in our lack of connection comes from our inability to “schedule” time to connect in person. We are too busy – with work, with following our kids around, with taking care of our “stuff.” For the next few weeks, why not overtly set aside some specific time to connect somehow with other people who are important to you? If you have to put some “stuff” aside, so be it. The people connections are what really matter. |
|||
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD | |||
![]() |
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD. Hope to hear from you there! Melissa Orlov |
![]() |
|
© 2011 Melissa Orlov |
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
![]() |
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Questions? Contact us |
Keep Things Light

Go to this newsletter issue on the web
ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - June 6, 2011 | |||
![]() |
Heart to Heart Tips for Thriving in your Marriage |
||
Quote of the Week | Quick Links | ||
(picture of a family lost in jungle. Man says to wife…) “O.K., I admit it, we’re lost, but the important thing is to remain focused on whose fault it is.” -New Yorker Cartoon |
Sign up for these weekly marriage tips and other announcements related to ADHD & Marriage |
||
Use Humor to Keep Things Light! | |||
We can laugh at this cartoon in part because it’s so true. How often have you spent time and energy arguing with your partner about who is right, rather than simply working together (regardless of who is right) to solve the problem at hand?! I plan to add this to my “front of the fridge” collection, right next to another of my favorites in which a “man” bird is leaning over to put the last piece of grass on his beautifully constructed nest while his “wife” looks on and says crossly “I can’t believe you’re going to put it there!” I hang these things up where all can see for a reason – to remind myself (and my family) to “take it easy”, remain a team, and look for the lighter side in life. |
|||
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD | |||
![]() |
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD. Hope to hear from you there! Melissa Orlov |
![]() |
|
© 2011 Melissa Orlov |
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
![]() |
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Questions? Contact us |