Weekly Marriage Tips

One of the saddest things I talk about with couples impacted by ADHD is how each person feels he or she loses their own voice in their struggling relationship.  This often is a result of parent/child dynamics and the power struggles that ensue.  

How do you find the balance between being you, and being a good partner?  

I think that’s a false dichotomy.  Does it need to be one or the other?  Why not both?

We all have an inner core person – that’s the ‘voice’ Copeland is referring to.  ADHD symptoms mask that voice by interfering with its clear transmission.  With those symptoms unmanaged, ADHD partners are often inconsistent, irritable and overwhelmed even if they are really great people.  But management of ADHD allows most with ADHD to become both ‘them’ and also a good partner.  In fact, managing ADHD sometimes allows an ADHD partner to be ‘more’ themselves than they could be before because FINALLY the symptoms that were in the way of that voice being heard are moved aside.

In non-ADHD partners, responses to ADHD can mask one’s inner voice by making us demanding, over-controlling and resentful.  Many feel ‘lost’ in the relationship and its problems.  It’s hard to meet your full potential in that mode.

But we have power if we engage it!  Power to make choices that put us back onto the path we want to be on.  Power to choose to learn all we can about ADHD and improve treatment.  Power to choose to move away from parent/child dynamics.  Power to choose to create blocks of time to attend to each other.  And time to make time for our relationships.

We CAN find our voices in ADHD-impacted relationships with the choice of healthy, ADHD relationship friendly strategies.  

Where is your power?

How can I help you?

FREE PARENTING ADHD ONLINE SUMMIT - 3rd Annual ADHD Parents Palooza July 27-31. Online + Free! 

Free VIRTUAL OFFICE HOURS with me during the COVID-19 crisis. 

Thursday, August 6, 9:00-10:30am EASTERN time

Thursday, August 6, 7:30 - 8:30pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, August 11, 3:30-4:45pm EASTERN time

Thursday, August 13, 9:00-10:00am EASTERN time

Thursday, August 13, 7:00-8:30pm EASTERN time

Wednesday, August 19, 10:00-11:30am EASTERN time

Thursday, August 20, 3:15 - 4:45pm EASTERN time

(break)

Office hours will resume in September

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session starts Fall, 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

Finding out you have ADHD is not just about symptoms, but also about emotions.  Sometimes there is relief.  “Finally!  This explains so much!”  Sometimes there is fear.  “What does this mean?  Am I lovable?  Am I broken?”  And sometimes there is resentment “Why can’t you just let me be me?!”

It is this latter that Perkowitz talks about in her article, which I recommend reading.  She: learns to embrace her ADHD and proudly asserts who she is; goes through a ‘love it or leave it’ stage; and then realizes that accepting ADHD is most effective if one learns that ADHD can impact those around you, too.  In the end, she muses “It’s not my fault that my brain style is less typical, and, therefore, less catered to, but nor is it anyone else’s fault either.”

It’s a call for understanding that imposing your way on others if you have ADHD is just as ‘icky’ as having others impose their way on you.  The healthiest relationship -with and without ADHD – are those in which each partner’s way of being is respected, and in which both partners seek to contribute their best self to the relationship.  To me that means being respectful; managing anger; finding a system that lets you be reliable a good part of the time; and showing lots of love.

Is either of you imposing your way on your partner?  Are both of you?

If you are struggling with task distribution and completion, please start this process.  There’s nothing easy at all about this dynamic, and even with ADHD in your relationship there are lots of ways to improve how you both feel about when and how things get done…and who does them.

PANDEMIC RESOURCES:

Free VIRTUAL OFFICE HOURS with Melissa during the COVID-19 crisis.  It's a difficult period for many, and it is my hope that I can provide meaningful support for those with relationship questions. 

Thursday, August 6, 9:00-10:30am EASTERN time, 7:30 - 8:30pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, August 11, 3:30-4:45pm EASTERN time

Thursday, August 13, 9:00-10:00am EASTERN time, 7:00-8:30pm EASTERN time

Wednesday, August 19, 10:00-11:30am EASTERN time

Thursday, August 20, 3:15 - 4:45pm EASTERN time

FREE PARENTING ADHD ONLINE SUMMIT - I'm on Monday July 27, Partnering With Your Young Adult With ADHD. Caregivers of ADHD kids: Don’t miss the 3rd Annual ADHD Parents Palooza July 27-31. Online + Free! It all kicks off Monday, July 27th. All you have to do is register today

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session starts Fall, 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

We are in a time of upheaval and, hopefully, change.  While the quote above is from a book about changing one’s own attitudes about racism, the idea that upheaval and change can be uncomfortable and scary is not a new one and is easily applied to making changes in your relationship.

In psychology, there is a response to change that has been well observed.  When one partner makes an uncomfortable change, the other one often unconsciously tries to push that partner back to the status quo, or the place that feels comfortable or knowable – even if that known place is unhealthy.

That probably happens in your relationship, too.  Yet change comes about because at least one partner is determined to make him or herself better.

The changes that are most successful are those that are rooted in our own values, and in which we are only trying to change ourselves, not our partners.  If you find you are belittling your partner, but believe strongly that your relationship should be based in respect, then your task is to learn to respect both yourself and your partner.  You might still be angry, but you learn to express that anger respectfully and constructively, rather than as rage.  You stop rolling your eyes.  You teach yourself to ask questions to find out what your partner’s opinions are.  You do this because respect is a critical value you hold and it’s important to live in alignment with one’s own value, not because it will or will not change your partner’s behaviors.

Have you thought lately about whether you are living in alignment with your values?  Do you need to make changes that might feel uncomfortable or scary?

Wishing you and your partner a happy July 4th!

Did you miss my ADDitude webinar, Relationship Rehab for ADHD Couples Challenged by the Pandemic ? Listen to it now.  Here is some feedback:

·      Melissa is just brilliant. I will listen to her every chance I get and wish she was my couples therapist.

·     This speaker was excellent: very knowledgeable with very helpful practical information! Thank you!

·     This was a really interesting talk, and the presenter had some wonderful strategies to help both the ADHDer and non-ADHDer in relationships. Awesome webinar!

Free VIRTUAL OFFICE HOURS with Melissa to support you during the COVID-19 crisis.  More information is here.  Note: If you partake in the recorded self-study couples seminar, you can ask your questions about seminar material in the office hours

Wednesday, July 8, 9:00 - 10:00am EASTERN time

Wednesday, July 8, 7:00 - 8:30pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, July 14, 3:30-4:30pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, July 21, 3:00 - 4:15pm EASTERN time

Wednesday, July 22, 7:00 - 9:00pm EASTERN time

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session starts Fall, 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

There is a lot of together time these days and things can get scritchy.  Or worse.

Rather than arguing, why not practice a bit of ‘the art of curiosity’ to your relationship?  Curiosity is such an important element of a good relationship that I actually have added a segment on it to my couples seminar.

Curious shows you are listening.  And interested.  Furious shuts down a conversation.

Curious is a compliment.  Furious is a gut punch.

Curious is inclusion.  Furious is exclusion.

Curious is connection and partnership.  Furious makes you adversaries.

Could you be more curious with your partner?  If so, remember some basics:

• Tone of voice is important.
• Open ended questions will serve you both the best because they don’t assume you know the answer – or even how your partner is thinking.
• Hear your partner’s full response, then add to the conversation with your own ideas.  Don’t ask your partner’s opinion, then tell them they are wrong (they are always entitled to their opinions!)

What would happen if you asked your partner 1 more question a day than you are now?  Not a question about logistics, but a question about them.  Why not try it?!

Free ADDitude Webinar: Relationship Rehab for ADHD Couples Challenged by the Pandemic - I offer my advice to learn strategies for repairing partnerships after stay-at-home orders lift with ADHD 

Free VIRTUAL OFFICE HOURS with me to support you during the COVID-19 crisis.

Tuesday, June 23,  3:00 - 5:00 EASTERN time

Thursday, June 25,  7:00pm - 8:30pm EASTERN time

Wednesday, July 8, 9:00 - 10:00am EASTERN time

Wednesday, July 8, 7:00 - 8:30pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, July 14, 3:30-4:30pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, July 21, 3:00 - 4:15pm EASTERN time

Wednesday, July 22, 7:00 - 9:00pm EASTERN time

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session starts Fall, 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

In the pandemic, couples have been moving towards the extremes.  Either they are hunkering down and focusing on ways they can express their love and gratitude, or they are struggling to deal with the problems they may have glossed over in the past, or had been able to ignore because they had other happy outlets that are not available to them at this time.

When I saw this quote, I wondered if it might be able to provide couples a way to cut through the daily stress, arguments and concerns they have now.  Love won’t solve everything (for example, it won’t pay the bills), but remembering to express love can make your days easier.  Here are some simple ways to make your life more love-filled:

• When confronted with something annoying, ask yourself “how could I be kind?’  Respond with kindness.
• Tell your partner “I love you” every day.  Set an alarm as a reminder if you need to (and this can come via text, btw, too)
• Find activities you enjoy together for at least an hour a day.  Watching a favorite series before bed; doing puzzles; cooking; walking…normally I suggest seeking ‘new and challenging’ activities, but ANY positive ‘play together’ time is useful right now.
• Smile.  Seek laughter.
• Attend.  One of the nicest things you can do right now is pay positive, open attention to his or her needs.  Even if it’s a quick ‘what can I do to help you for the next 30 minutes’ that’s a big deal.
• Be curious.  About your partner’s feelings; activities; needs.  Ask questions.  Show you are interested.
• Say something nice to or about your partner every time you can.  Don’t hold back.  We need appreciation now.

How could you be more loving in your relationship?

Upcoming Events:

June 16, I'm an ADDitude expert guest - Live Webinar on Relationship Rehab for ADHD Couples Challenged by the Pandemic. Free. Register and get free replay.

Registration opens June 12, 3pm eastern - summer non-ADHD support groups

Recorded couples seminar - Work on your relationship anywhere, anytime....and you can ask your questions about seminar material in the office hours below....

Free VIRTUAL OFFICE HOURS with Melissa to support you during the COVID-19 crisis:

Tuesday, June 16, 9:00 - 10:30am EASTERN time

Wednesday, June 17,  8:15pm to 9:30pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, June 23,  3:00 - 5:00 EASTERN time

Thursday, June 25,  7:00pm - 8:30pm EASTERN time

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session starts Fall, 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group - 8 consecutive Tuesdays @ 8:30 pm Eastern time, 9/15/20 - 11/3/20.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

A huge upset to your life always provides an opportunity to reflect on whether or not you are living your life the way you wish to.  Whether it’s cancer, a near-death car accident, or living out the COVID-19 crisis, we all have an opportunity to take stock.  Kondo is talking about work…but I would like to talk about relationships.

But how does one take stock?  I suggest you go back to your basic values and ask yourself if you are living your life aligned with those values.  I did this after I had cancer and the answer was ‘no, I was not.’  The question then becomes, “what do I need to do to bring that to a ‘yes’?”  

After lots of reflection I decided that I had wasted too many of my precious days angry, upset and unhappy.  Of course, one can’t just wave a magic wand and have things become happy.  I tried that once and it just didn’t work!  No, you have to chart a course and ask how do I get from here to there?  

Because I think conceptually, I decided that my task was to make each of my own days positive – EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.  Notice that this is about me, not my partner.  I’m responsible for making this happen.  My partner will either share a similar vision and work with me, or he won’t.

Some of the things on my list of things to do to make the transition were:

• Add joyful activities I could do every day or almost every day (start making music again since I missed that; ensure my relationship included joy; spend lots of time with family and friends; find opportunities to smile and laugh; practice gratitude)
• Do all I needed to do on my side to contribute to a positive relationship (not by shoving things inside, but by focusing with my husband on what was REALLY important to me and letting other things go; continuing my education on what helps me and others; working with my husband to make sure my most important needs were being attended to; letting go of what wasn’t important)
• Make sure I am doing meaningful work (perhaps volunteer work; helping others; continue my work with couples)

Each of these steps had many sub-steps to follow, which I did.  But the concept was the right one for me.  Make each day positive.  With that attitude, my life was sure to get better…and it did.

Have you assessed your life lately?

Free VIRTUAL OFFICE HOURS with Melissa to support you during the COVID-19 crisis.  More information is here.

Monday, June 8, 10:00 - 11:30am EASTERN time

Tuesday, June 9,  7:30 - 9pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, June 16, 9:00 - 10:30am EASTERN time

Wednesday, June 17,  8:15pm to 9:30pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, June 23,  3:00 - 5:00 EASTERN time

Thursday, June 25,  7:00pm - 8:30pm EASTERN time

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session starts Fall, 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

We are under an avalanche of horrible news these days, and this translates for many into a larger emotional than we usually carry.  

You may be tempted to hide your emotions or act out upon them.  I would choose a third option.  We all have every right to our emotions, so while boxing them off because they are hard may seem like a good coping strategy, it actually places further burden on ourselves because it lets those emotions fester inside.  We can't work through them when we box them up.

But the other 'go to' strategy - of just blatting them out all over and with little thought can lead to hurting others you love (including, at one extreme, domestic abuse, which is on the rise).  So that strategy isn't in your best interests, either.

Instead, try creating a time when each person can talk - respectfully - about any emotions that they are feeling that are important to them.  There are two specific ways to do this that I like - pick either or both.

1.) at the end of the day take about 5 minutes to finish the sentence "What you need to know most about me today is..."  You can answer that by talking about an emotion ("...that I'm scared I'm going to get sick") or about something you wish to share that's happened that impacts you emotionally ("...that I am proud I finally got to refinishing the teak chair after putting it off for a year!")

2.) schedule two 30-60 minute meetings a week for talking about emotionally laden issues in a respectful way.  In one meeting one partner leads.  In the other, the other partner leads.  Make sure to talk from your own perspective ("I feel rather lonely right now.") vs. blaming your partner ("You don't pay enough attention to me.")

And, finally, at any time during this crisis, if you need a hug or just plain reassurance, let your partner know (assuming they have been quarantined the proper amount of time for that hug!)  Don't expect your partner to 'read' your emotions.  Share them overtly, gently and in a non-critical fashion and ask for what you need.  And when your partner asks you for some emotional support please try to remain open to provide it.

P.S.  Speaking of emotional support, during the pandemic period I am offering free virtual office hours for quick support as well as adding non-ADHD support groups, starting April 23.

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Free, Virtual Office Hours with Melissa

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session will start Fall 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group. Non ADHD group starts April 23.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

These are upended times, with intense pressure of all sorts on many couples.  For some couples the additional time together is a good thing because they can more consciously connect.  But for many – particularly those impacted by ADHD and/or financial changes – the change in routine is a shock.  If you are feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed and as if you can’t seem to get away from the chaos (or your partner!) you are not alone.

To help you I’m offering some additional resources.  Specifically, almost daily information through my blog aimed to provide you with relevant relationship and family support.  I’m adding non-ADHD partner support groups.  In addition, I’m also starting something new - free virtual ‘office hours’ during this difficult time.  You are invited to call me during posted hours with a pressing relationship question you have.  Think of it as free relationship triage.

And, if you wish to read my response to the woman above, go to this blog post.

Please stay healthy and in touch.

Melissa

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session will start in the Fall of 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

I thought this article in the NYTimes was interesting – about how our society places an expectation on couples that suggests that women should do more around the house and men take advantage of this and don’t step up – feeling they shouldn’t really have to.

What I love about this quote is the woman’s “We fell into this easy pattern…”  There’s nothing at all “easy” about this pattern – for either partner.  Who wants resentment and negative feelings bubbling around the relationship all the time?

If you are in a heterosexual relationship, you may have this same pattern in your life – woman does more chores than she wants to and feels resentful.  Husband dislikes the resentment, and blames wife for being angry.  Or, another version in ADHD-impacted relationships.  The non-ADHD partner does more than wanted, and feels resentful, etc etc.

If you do, it’s time to name the elephant in the room and bring these feelings out into the open in a constructive way.

Marriage research suggests that relationships are more likely to be healthy and happy if the woman in the relationship feels that chores are ‘well enough’ distributed.  That does NOT mean equal.  That means ‘well enough.’  Figure out what that looks like to both of you (and particularly to the woman!) and then make it happen.

In my couples seminar I suggest that couples take a baseline of who does what, discuss what each person wants to do (both based upon skill and how easy it is for them) and then set a plan for how to stay in touch around tasks and responsibilities without any parent-child dynamics in the mix.  You can do this, too.  I can teach you how as part of my seminar, or you can do it on your own.  (There are more subtleties to it, but this is the simplified version and a good start.)

If you are struggling with task distribution and completion, please start this process.  There’s nothing easy at all about this dynamic, and even with ADHD in your relationship there are lots of ways to improve how you both feel about when and how things get done…and who does them.

Free VIRTUAL OFFICE HOURS with Melissa to support you during the COVID-19 crisis.  More information is here.

Tuesday, May 26, 7:30-9pm EASTERN time

Friday, May 29 3-5:30pm EASTERN time

Tuesday, June 9 7:30 - 9pm EASTERN time

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session starts Fall, 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

I think of my work as a catalyst for couples as they take their own marital journeys.  My opinion being that what my husband and I went through was completely average for couples impacted by ADHD and by laying our learning bare we can hope to speed up that journey for others in a similar position.

But you still have to go through it, with your own discoveries.  And with your own approaches to solving your own issues.  I can suggest, for example, that putting aside some of my fears and baggage about my sex life (admittedly complicated after some affairs) and just deciding to enjoy myself again worked well for me.  I was able to set aside my fears until they could be healed over time by my more positive experiences.  But not everyone will be able to do that…or want to.

I invite you all to share your own experiences, journeys and questions with me and others at our website forum or through contacting me directly.  This is a journey we have all made and you don’t have to make it alone.

Starting April 6th - My Noon Non-ADHD Partner Support Group has availability. 7 sessions. The next sessions after April will begin in the fall of 2020. 

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session starts Fall 2020.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.