Weekly Marriage Tips

For a long-time, research has suggested that having your child take ADHD meds wouldn’t improve his or her school performance.  And, if you just read this introductory sentence, you might conclude that this was still true.

It turns out, the point tha Barkley next makes is that it is likely that researchers got this result because they re-tested academic performance soon after meds were started.  This misses the point – it takes time to acquire new knowledge and for that acquisition to be reflected in academic outcomes.  A large-scale longitudinal study recently showed something completely different.  That over time (years, not weeks or months) treating ADHD significantly improved academic performance.

I take away two lessons for couples here.  First, bad science means bad research results.  Be careful to get your information from a source you trust to have fully vetted study methodology (this is generally NOT the press!)  Second, just as it takes time for the effects of treatment to show its benefits in school settings, so too does it take time in relationships.

Or as one seminar participant who has been taking my courses for a while recently put it “it’s a process that take a while.”  Think of it as a journey.  This makes sense.  Your lives are complicated.  Identifying what needs to change and which ADHD-friendly ways you will use to make those changes takes education and thought.  Learning new habits is hard, and making them stick takes time.

I don’t lay this out to discourage you, rather just the opposite.  You may not see change right away, but if you both stick with it, chances are good that in time, you will.

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Check out How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group both run 8 consecutive weeks.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

There is a lot of food for thought in this quote, and the issue that she brings up – that women may actually like self-criticism because it provides a benefit for them (motivation) is reinforced by the fact that our culture generally gives us permission to criticize ourselves, while punishing us for praising ourselves or being too outspoken.  I’m speaking in generalities here, but certainly I’ve experienced that and I bet many of you have.

Whether you are a woman with ADHD or a woman married to a person with ADHD, I think that it’s important to challenge these cultural norms.  We need all of the strength we have to live in – and love in – a relationship complicated by the presence of ADHD.

It’s too easy to be self- critical…and because this is so acceptable, no one is going to tell you you shouldn’t be.  But I would like to urge you to replace that self-criticism with self love, instead.  What does that look like?  For women with ADHD that means getting to know that you have fewer limits than people have told you, and that with great management of ADHD you can FLY!  It means getting the sleep you need.  And not being embarrassed to learn about your limits – you DON’T have to do it all!  You don’t have to be perfect – being loving is better.  And, in spite of what I’m writing here (which is suggesting a direction) you get to choose how to take care of yourself in this world.  Finding ways to be your best, most-true-to-your-values self, no matter what anyone else tells you.

For non-ADHD partners, self-kindness means understanding that you can’t control your ADHD partner’s behaviors, though you can influence them.  It means taking time away from the chaos – mentally or physically, as needed.  That might mean adding a meditative or gratitude practice, or taking a vacation with friends.  Paying attention to your own health, not just everyone else’s.  Seeking the positive at every turn.  Finding ways to be your best, most-true-to-your-values self, no matter what anyone else tells you.

And, for all – what, besides self-criticism, motivates you?  Answer that question and strengthen that area of your life.

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next Live session starts October, 2019.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship could be the answer.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

“Why subject yourself to the tyranny of ‘or’?!” - my husband (and many others)

One of the fun parts of living with ADHD is that you get to (have to!) think creatively when you are problem solving.  After all, you are trying to negotiate your very different approaches to life’s problems.  We’ve come up with some ‘win/win’ solutions over the years that others might think were practically crazy but that we liked just fine, thank you very much!

One of the best ways to do this is to seek the ‘and’ solution vs. sticking with the ‘or’.  How can you satisfy your need AND satisfy mine?  So much more satisfying than having someone win and someone lose (aka the ‘or’ solution.)

Next time you are battling over something, stop and request a brainstorming session in which you both contribute multiple possible solutions to the issue.  (To do this, it helps to look ‘underneath’ the issue to see if you can identify motivators or reasons you are stuck in your current position.)

A simple tool to help you brainstorm together if you are trying to figure out whether or not to do something is a 3 column grid.  In the left column is “reasons to do” the thing.  You BOTH contribute to thinking up all the benefits of proceeding – not just the person who is currently on that ‘side’ of your disagreement.  The second column is ‘reasons not to do’ and again, BOTH partners contribute.  The third column is ‘creative solutions’.  Ask yourselves ‘how many ‘ands’ are out there?’

Filling out the first two columns helps you calm down and gets you thinking about both sides of the issue from your own perspective.  The third column is where the fun begins.

Try it sometime – why give in to the tyranny of or?

My highly-acclaimed ADHD Effect couples seminar can give you the tools to improve your relationship!

"Better than any therapy session we've had.  It was filled with practical information and the approach was right on."

The seminar starts MARCH 26th and is likely to be the smallest sized class I've had in over a decade.  To encourage your participation, I'm offering a rare discount of $30 - just use the code ALL30 at registration (make sure to click 'apply'!)  You can read more and register here.

Don't Delay - Get your best friend back.

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The Live session starts March 26, 2019.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Check out How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group both run 8 consecutive weeks.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

I will readily admit that there have been times in my marriage when I did not feel ANY compassion towards my husband.  He was being horrible towards me – why give him something back that felt ‘soft,’ such as compassion?  So, instead, I gave as good as I got.  Hounding him, berating him, withholding affection, trying any way I could to move him into a place of greater action and responsibility for our family.

As you all know, this approach failed miserably.  Not just for me, but for every single person I’ve ever seen try to use it.  And, sadly, that’s pretty much every person I’ve ever consulted with.

One of the reasons to get well-educated about how ADHD – and responses to ADHD – impact relationships is that understanding provides room for feeling more compassion and empathy towards your ADHD or non-ADHD partner.  It’s really hard to have ADHD.  And it’s really hard to live with someone who has ADHD.  Over and over again I’ve seen relationships soften as people have learned the ‘whys’ of how their relationship functions…as well as ‘how’ to address the issues.  Finding room for compassion is an important base or building block creating a new, and better, love together.  Being compassionate may feel like weakness if you are in a relationship war.  But it is actually a place of strength and building.  I found that I had to dig deep to find all the love I needed to go there…but that when I did, good things happened to both me (I was back on track to being the person I wanted to be) and to my husband (who felt more heard and respected and therefore started improving his own behavior.)

Do you have the love in you to seek compassion for your ADHD or non-ADHD partner’s situation?

Live Couples' Seminar - The ADHD Effect In-Depth - starts March 26th, exactly 2 weeks from TODAY. Don't delay...

"Your emotional intelligence, patience, and the way you handle the questions before, during, and after your presentation are really nothing short of amazing. Thank you for helping improve our lives...!"

"I'm finding the sessions are saving my marriage and want to thank you."

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. 

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The Live session starts March 26, 2019.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Check out How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group both run 8 consecutive weeks.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

Rice was speaking about the issues she experienced growing up in a racially-segregated south, but I think her words are also very relevant for couples impacted by ADHD.

I’ve talked with many non-ADHD partners who think they are victims of their partner’s ADHD behaviors.  That they must take over all of the responsibilities for the family because their ADHD-impacted partner won’t or can’t, for example (not true, btw, but an understandable assumption.)

I’ve also talked with plenty of ADHD partners who suggest they are victims of ADHD and ‘can’t do anything about it.’

While I understand the temptation to feel that way, do you want to give all that control to the ADHD???  This seems irrational to me, particularly when research shows that treatment of adult ADHD can result in a ‘normalization’ or ‘significant improvement’ of symptoms in up to 80% of adults who have it.  My own consulting practice demonstrates that couples working together can balance out responsibilities and live well with ADHD. 

The problem with the victim mentality is that it leads you to paralysis and inaction.  “I’m a victim and I can’t do anything about that” means you will make no progress, just stay in a pool of resentment.  So if you are feeling that way, try to move yourself out of that state by trying these approaches (demonstrated to work):

• Get fully educated about ADHD – there is lots of scientifically accurate information available at my site and other places.  Consider my couples seminar (starts March 26th), in which you get to ask me all of your questions, as well as get the latest information
• Optimize treatment for ADHD.  The free treatment e-book on my home page can get you started.
• Look for your strengths…and strengthen them further.  This is a great way to get away from feeling like a (weak) victim.
• Get professional help from someone who understands ADHD and can, in turn help you understand yours better.  That might be a therapist or coach – good recommendations for both are in my ADHD-savvy professionals section.
• Start a gratitude practice – this will help you look for the positive in your life.  Use a journal and once a day finish this sentence three times:  “I am grateful for…”  Reflect a bit on those things if you can. Read more on gratitude here.

NO ONE needs to be a victim of ADHD.  Please use the resources available to you to get out of that horrible and restrictive place if you are in it.

Upcoming ADHD Resources:

• My couples seminar starts March 26th
• Next Non-ADHD support group series starts March 20th
• Free webinar with me and ADDClasses.com: Balancing ADHD and Non-ADHD needs. Access it for free until 3/23
• ADHD and Women: 30 experts including me
• Parenting ADHD Children: Calm and Connected: Parenting the Child You Have©  7-Session Workshop Series begins March 14th

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The Live session starts March 26, 2019.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Check out How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group both run 8 consecutive weeks.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

My mother passed away in 2008 and, soon after, my father chose a partner who is the most intentionally happy person I have ever met.  It has been a wonderful experience to observe how she absorbs bad news, thinks about how she wants to respond, and then takes action to create a happier path.  When I saw this quote it reminded me of her.  Without a doubt she chooses to be happy rather than sad or angry, and she applies a set of skills she has been honing for a lifetime.

What are those skills?  Here are a few:

• Actively looking for the positive every day
• Taking responsibility for creating your own happiness and putting boundaries around that so that others can’t ‘steal it away’
• Reflecting on what you love to do and pursuing it – so that your life is filled with activities that make you happy
• Exercising (which is a mood stabilizer) and getting outdoors whenever possible (also a mood stabilizer)
• Connecting with others every day

I don’t wish to suggest that this is a Pollyanna-ish approach to life.  She doesn’t shy away from addressing the problems she faces.  Instead, her view is that she wants to live her life in happiness, and in spite of any issues, she is going to work hard to help that happen.

Could you do the same?

Learn Happiness skills!! - The next Non-ADHD support group series begins March 20th and the Spring session of my Live Couples Seminar starts March 26th.   Don't Delay!  

Are you parenting a challenging child? Gain insights, tools, and strategies to manage your child's ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and Executive Function challenges. Learn more.

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The Live session starts March 26, 2019.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Check out How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group begins March 20th and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group will start soon.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

One of the hardest parts of struggling in your relationship may be that as the two of you work hard to try to fix things, you spend a large amount of your time focused on your problems.  It may be, in fact, that you’ve forgotten to have fun together.

Yet marital research would suggest that one of the better ways to connect with each other is to do something ‘new and challenging’ together.  (Hint – going out to dinner may be fun, but it doesn’t qualify as ‘new and challenging!’)  Other research suggests that you need five positive interactions for every negative interaction you have in order to have a healthy relationship.  Having some fun can help you create that ratio.

I’ve long talked with seminar participants about trying to lighten up their lives a bit to remember why they love each other.  Some of the things they’ve added to their lives that were ‘new and challenging’ include:  Learning to rollerblade at Venice Beach, CA; taking dancing lessons together; trying out camping and more.  The fact that these are energetic, and often outside, helps, too.

What could you do – for the first time – that would help connect you and your partner?  Think about it, then go have some fun!

Need more loving suggestions? My phone Seminar for Couples Impacted by ADHD starts March 26th. This is my premier seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples. The 8 Sessions help Rebuild Trust, Deal with Anger, and Tap into Joy and Hope. Registration is Open.

Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group starts Feb 18, 2019

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The Live session starts March 26, 2019.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Check out How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group both run 8 consecutive weeks.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

I have been in this same place – I envisioned a marriage that would resemble the hyper-focus courtship that I had with my husband.  A life-long experience where my husband was always attentive and empathetic, where we explored the world every day, and he even continued to love cooking.  It was a shock when the hyperfocus wore off, and I was dropped into the distracted, lonely days of my early marriage. 

It is important to know yourself when you get to this place, rather than get lost in your relationship and disappointment.  This ‘getting lost’ is much easier to do that you might think.  You single-mindedly dedicate yourself to making your relationship better, or ‘improving’ your partner (as I did) and suddenly all of your interests, friendships and even happy feelings have been over-run by your problems and plans for improvements.  That’s ‘lost’ in your relationship.

You need to know yourself in order to have the strength of voice and intention that allows you to re-find happiness from within.  Strength to understand that your partner is free to choose his or her own path (whether you like it or not).  Ready to try your hardest and see what happens.

It’s healthy to grieve for the relationship you thought you had, but don’t.  Then, take some time to accept where you are and (very importantly) seek out what is good.  Okay, so you don’t have what you thought you would have.  But, what DO you have?  What’s still great?  What can be built?  Where’s the untapped potential?  All of those questions come after you’ve reached acceptance.  

Yes, it might be hard, but it’s a great way to move forward.

Ready for acceptance? A support group for Non-ADHD partners starts February 18th. 

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. 

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Consider my How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

Dr. Ned Hallowell likes to talk about pruning the naysayers – that it’s okay to move away from who bring you down.  We all have enough trouble keeping our lives together as it is!

Parker Pope’s article talks about the science of having positive people in your life based upon the work that Dan Buettner, a National Geographic Explorer who has been studying longevity in Japan, has been doing.  In a nutshell, having strong, supportive connections adds years to your life unlike just about anything else.

This is a problem for ADHD-impacted couples.  Those with ADHD split their attention between many things and may have trouble making the repeated connections with others that sustain long-term, deep relationships.  Further, distracting social networks can lead to a lot of distracted, shallow ‘touches’ with others but little depth.

Non-ADHD partners often tell me they feel isolated by the struggles they are experiencing and by the fact that few outside their relationships understand.  Or, as one woman recently wrote me – ‘friends and pastors do not believe we have as serious a problem as we have.  He is so likeable and charming.’  And, trying to deal with household responsibilities, depression and anger often subsumes even one’s most important social relationships.

If this is happening to you, it’s time to reverse course.  Think of this as ‘treatment’ for yourself.  Reconnect with your best friend.  Call him or her and get together.  Connect with others who ‘get’ ADHD.  (You can do this in my support groups and seminars.)  Pair away the people who ask of you, but give little.

Think of it as the life-extending, critical activity that it is, and put it ahead of other tasks that ‘seem’ more important due to deadlines.  Most often, they aren’t.

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next Live session starts March 26, 2019.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Consider my How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group both run 8 consecutive weeks.

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.

When you think about forgiveness you may think about forgiving other people.  But equally – perhaps even more – important is forgiving yourself.  To do this, you need to get out of personal denial and acknowledge that there is something that needs forgiving.  In ADHD impacted relationships it’s not just ADHD – it’s also responses to ADHD that creates the problems.  In my case, for example, I was so angry about his symptomatic behaviors that I treated my husband horribly for a number of years.  It feels horrible to admit that I was an emotional abuser.  And yet…I was.

My husband also had many areas where he could have done much better by me –  angry, dismissive outbursts; affairs, and more.

The only way to heal from this sort of emotional pain is to: BOTH own what you have done; acknowledge your poor behavior with your partner; apologize to him/her; and forgive yourself.

In my case, and perhaps in yours, I can honestly say that I responded to undiagnosed ADHD symptoms as most people do.  I tried hard to fix things and did the best I could do in the situation.  I now understand the effect of ADHD and responses to ADHD on us both…but that doesn’t mean my behavior was okay.  It was still emotional abuse and there is no justification for that.

Forgiving yourself – and your partner – is critical to moving forward.  Having your partner forgive you, and him/herself is equally important.

Or, as I like to say, ‘ADHD doesn’t cause divorce, denial does.’  If either of you stay in denial of your own impact on your partner, you are unlikely to find the love you seek.

If you or your partner need to learn more about how to deal with ADHD and responses to ADHD, one of the best resources available is my live couples seminar – which is started YESTERDAY JANUARY 15.  No, it's not too late to join us - sessions are recorded so up to 2 missed sessions are OK. Details are here.  Let me do the work of helping you both overcome denial and improve your lives together.

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  

Seminars and Groups

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The Live session started January 15, 2019.

Is your relationship in pretty good shape but you'd love to feel closer? Consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Is Anger an unwanted contributor in your relationship? Consider my How to Diminish Anger in Your Relationship.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD Partner Support Tele-Group both run 8 consecutive Tuesdays @ 8:30pm EDT, 1/15 - 3/5, 2019

Question? Contact Melissa.

- Please follow us for tips and resources.